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Author Name: Freefanofjims 8 Comments
Date Added: July 20, 2004 08:07:42 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Dedications Add To Favorites | Text Only
Perfectly Planned~6

Perfectly Planned

For years I thought my mind was broken
By echoes of thoughts rewinded and spoken
I just didn't know how to start or begin
So I never ever fit in with ordinary men

My personality was so different and unique
Watching others climb standing on the highest peak
It was hard to survive with the things I knew
Because way back then I did not have a clue

I was labeled by society as a loner or an outcast
Happiness always seemed to be so far from my grasp
My life became a living form of suicide
I began not caring whether I lived or died

Confusion turned to anger fueled by my rage
I felt like an animal who was trapped in a cage
Whenever someone pointed their finger at me
I would always react so violently

Because of things that people might do or say
I couldn’t turn my back and simply walk away
My eyes and my ears always listened in stereo
And I kept reliving the same damn scenario

So I am glad before I really hurt someone
That portion of my test is over and done
Now I stand on the outside staring at the wall
Trying to grab the others as they start to fall

Installing strength and courage into their soul
To get a grip on the things out of our control
I am just a simple man who began to understand
That our lives are laid out and perfectly planned

Author's Notes:
Aug 8-2004~ I wrote this letter to a Friend here at creative-
Maggie Waddell- It applies to many of you-
Dear Maggie-
Your quite welcome and may I leave you with this thought- If you continue to remember that someone elses down falls when they are close to us will in time later create a soul with extreme strength and courage~ You can not fail- Do not allow your confusion to swallow you while you're still figuring out how to endure and surpass these times- I am glad you spill your emotions in thought because YOU carry a lot of questions for the answers that remain- There are a few writers on this site who first drew me into their writing by levels of depression in what they wrote- I can't help but try and support people that I sometimes meet here- Something tells me that they need a boost back up to attain what they were delivered into this existence for- I don't know what your entire circle is meant to bring but my intuition tells me it carrys greatness- So until you achieve this remember to forever look ahead through your moments of darkness for it is your destiny to survive it- May these words of encouragement assist you on this path of your Journey- Best Wishes- James Because of the time I spend to write and comment on each of your poems, I wanted to post this as a reminder to those of you that it may take me a while to get back around to, You are always in my thoughts- My Dear Friends~ My Mother-In-Law lost her battle to cancer at around 6:30 pm last night- We started fighting this battle nearly a year ago when the cancer had swollen her eyes shut- She moved in with us Thanksgiving Day of last year because she could no longer take care of herself- She never considered herself to be a very courageous person yet every time we had another setback she would fight and overcome the odds- We often would talk of the next level and she would describe her new house and neighborhood to me in great detail- The second part of The Journey as it is preparing to go to print has now been officially dedicated to her memory so that anyone who feels they can not overcome the obstacles placed before them can find strength through her spirit of endurance- She had a rough and troubling childhood that progressed into her adult years- She was never understood by her mother and was grateful for the connection she had with my wife and children- It gave her a great feeling of peace when I explained to her just the night before that poems that I will create in her memory will not only allow others to build off the strength she carried but will bring the thoughts of many who never knew her personally to her essence- And that some of the things in life that caused her pain and grief will now be helping others cope with theirs- I told her that is ironic that nearly 11 years ago when Bill passed away it started me writing poetry that turned into the first book of The Journey- I now have 5 manuscripts yet have never even gotten the first one to print- Now because of her situation I began to prepare the first book for print and it should be available for purchase by the end of this month- She gave me the strength to pursue this project the rest of the way into getting it on its path and into the hands of its readers- Bill breathed life into it and Shirley gave it birth- I want to thank all of you for your prayers and thoughts not only to her but for me as well during my moments of sadness over her situation- I have been with my wife for a little over 20 years and Shirley was always a major part of our relationship- She always tried to be there for me and my wife and became really the only family my children got to know and call Grandma- She truly was like a mom to me always from the beginning to the end- You are a fine group of people that I have been honored to share the previews of the poetry contained within the pages of The Journey series- And as it comes to life I want to say you all are a major part of the strength I obtained to bring it to life- Thanks again-
Best Wishes to You All~
PS-Please take a moment to read the poem my Son dedicated to his Gamma last night- Although Jimmy writes with a style that most of you would not get this poem was very important to him- The poem is at this link- Thank You-
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'Perfectly Planned~6' Copyright © James Lagoski
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Comment By: FreeSweetSunshine on November 25, 2004 11:08:41 PM Report
This is such a powerful write, James~~a wonderful piece of work~~shows that you have a very special heart for all those precious people you have reached out to. Thank you for sharing this. :)

Comment By: PremiumBlake Hightdudis on August 8, 2004 11:45:37 AM Report
This is a masterpiece of work. truely a great one.
Comment By: FreeMike on August 6, 2004 12:54:06 PM Report
really a great poem here james. very easy for someone, especially somebody young, to relate and understand this poem on a couple different levels. fate seems to be underrated until everything works out for the best...

Comment By: FreeBeautiful Hatred on August 1, 2004 02:14:26 PM Report
This hit me hard. this is such an amazing write. I'm so glad that you chose not to delete it. You are such a wonderful person. I could never thank you enough for being who you are- a friend. thanks again!
Comment By: FreeGlata on July 21, 2004 07:40:22 AM Report
THIS IS FANTASTIC! It gives us a view into the mind of someone that has overcome great obstacles in his life to become a wonderful person...
You are doing a great job helping others, too. I'm one of those "fallen" that you've caught and helped back on my feet...for that I am forever grateful!

Hope this goes into one of your books! VERY deserving!

Comment By: FreeEarl Mc on July 20, 2004 12:29:25 PM Report

Glad that this emerged from you this morning. It is a feeling that many of us have experienced. The last two lines say it all.


Comment By: FreePili Pubul on July 20, 2004 10:40:29 AM Report
I believe James that you suffer unfortunaly of the characteristics of a very bright gifted child,unfortunaly in an enviroment that couldn't comprehend such mind, so the lack of comprehension and nurturing, not knowing how to channel and feed your sensitivity and needs, surrounded by hostility out of ignorance,depression and anger started to destroy you, until you became aware that most people are victims of their enviroment,starving for attention,they look for it sometimes in all the wrong ways and places. YOU could see that, and did something, saving yourself and others,I could talk hours about this ,,, but will stop here.I have great respect and admiration for you.
Comment By: TrialAnn on July 20, 2004 10:00:05 AM Report
Sounds to me like you've moved to the place that is right for you finally. This is an inspirational piece James, and there is nothing wrong with glancing back to see what made you the strong person you are. Good write and I'm glad you grace us with your work and advice.


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