I'm a PI named Barnaby Jones and I send killers to jail.

But when people receive my bills, they always yell.

Three years ago I exonerated a woman's husband of murder.

She screamed when she got my bill, you should've heard her.

I make plenty of money, I sure don't work for free.

I buy fancy suits with the money that clients pay me.

Letting people get away with murder is something I won't allow.

I drink so much milk that sometimes I suck the udders on cows.

When people see me do that to their cows, they pull shotguns on me.

I'm a damn good Private Investigator but you will not like my fee.