Many years ago I bought a laptop.
It's so outdated, I call it a craptop.
I want to sell it but nobody wants it because it's eighteen years old.
I'm asking a quarter for it at my yard sale but it still hasn't been sold.
When I sold a rod and reel, I offered to throw in the laptop for free.
But the guy told me to shove it up my ass because it only has 2 Megabytes of Memory.
If it was a person, it would be old enough to get married, vote and smoke.
This prehistoric thing doesn't even have a CD-Rom Drive and that's no joke.
This thing is so frustrating, it takes twenty minutes for it to get on Ebay.
Nobody wants this damn thing, the garbage men won't even take it away!
If you want to buy my laptop, I'll sell it to you for a nickel.
I can tell that you don't want it either, I sure am in a pickle.