I'm the sheriff and my name is Rosco P. Coltrane.
People in Hazzard know that the P is for pea-brain.
I work for Commissioner Jefferson Davis Hogg.
He hates the Dukes and he also hates my dog.
I usually get a cut of the take from my fat brother-in-law.
I love his evil schemes and I love to pinch his flabby jaws.
Everybody knows that I'm a bumbling sheriff, I'm sure not a genius.
I can't catch the Duke boys and neither can my dipstick deputy Enos.
After wrecking all of those patrol cars, I was pretty damn lucky to survive.
But my character came to an end anyway when the Dukes of Hazzard was cancelled in 1985.