Something happened that was both unexpected and great.
By some miracle, I've been elected President of the United States.
I got 535 electoral votes and Romney got three.
Obama didn't even get one and he's pissed at me.
I had no idea that I'd win on that large of a scale.
This is the biggest landslide since Reagan beat Mondale.
I'm very surprised but happy that this came about.
Obama and Romney are plotting revenge, there is no doubt.
I ran as an independent and my victory is what many will resent.
But for the next four years, I promise that I'll be a great President.