I also remember a darker day
When I began to stray
Walking further and further from Him
Until I could no longer see his face.
Compared to His shining beauty
I looked like a worm
Full of disease and despair
No
I could not let you see me
Savior.
So I started to build a wall.
Carved bricks from my hardened heart
Made mortar from the mud of my soul
I built and built
Brick by Brick
Building this wall between me
And Him
It stretched as high as the mountains
And had the length of the Nile
"Finally I can be alone"...
At least for a while.
For you see
I was hidden from Him behind my horrible creation
But my Jesus called and called for me
Pleading and pleading
"Just come back to me little lamb. Though your sins have made you
scarlet, I can wash you white as snow"
I wept at his words
"No Jesus, you don't understand!
My sins are not some little stain to be
simply washed out.
They have turned my soul black
Nothing can cleanse me now"
I waited for a reply
Yet none came.
I was so relieved
Finally I could dwell in shame.
Countless time passed as I sat behind my wall
I was utterly alone
Completely abandoned
I began to get angry
So much for catching me when I fall
"So much for never forsaking me"
"So much for all those promises you said!"
You were supposed to never leave me
Yet here I am,
Almost dead
You are to blame for all my troubles
I gave you my all
And this is what I get in return?
I need you the most right now
Yet you leave me among this mess
You ignore my prayers and pleas
So I began to pray less
And less
God all I want to know
Is how You could abandon me
Abandon me without a breath of hope
I can't deal with these problems by myself
Yet you expect me to just cope
I fall on my face
My tears wet the ground
Through the midst of my pain
I hear the loveliest sound
Oh that sound I hear!
That sweet voice of Jesus
Filing my ear.
He says with a voice like roaring water
Smooth as silk
"Oh, little lamb"
You have never been alone
This was never my will!
I've been sitting here
Waiting on you to come home.
I love you my son
But I could not breach this wall
You built this barrier between us
You must be the one to make it fall
And oh little lamb
When you do
I'll still be right here
Waiting on you
JAKE ARMSTRONG
