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Author Name: Freedazriz 3 Comments
Date Added: June 30, 2012 01:06:07 Average Score: (Needs 1)
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Type: Rhyming
Category: General Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
subconciously
mutedly i uttered as the silence filled the air
i confidently stuttered as i left to go nowhere
reached where i started before i left the end
crumbled broken hearted and i never had a friend
laid awake dreaming of the things ive never seen
a melancholly feeling of a place ive almost been
seen the setting sun in the middle of the night
bravely turned and run every time i had to fight
listened to the silence as i spoke without a voice
turned away from violence if i didnt have a choice
eagerly i slumbered as i wasted precious breath
on moments duely numbered from birth until my death
i guess what im implying in my own distorted view
these words i am supplying although to me are true
are just constanations from a psychodelic brain
none have destinations or define me to be sane
just see it as a guide to defer against your own
so you wont have to hide and feel that your alone
inside we all are deeper wrapped in concious skin
a different shallow sleeper always lies within 
Author's Notes:
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'subconciously' Copyright © darren risden
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeFirestone Feinberg on June 30, 2012 12:25:10 PM Report
Excellent writing, Darren.  --David
Comment By: FreeGraham Jones on June 30, 2012 05:54:06 AM Report
Glad I dropped by thoroughly enjoyed it for its humour and complexity~Graham.
Comment By: PremiumHarry William Harborne on June 30, 2012 05:43:43 AM Report


This is a wonderful poem, it tripped off the tongue like velvet, I love rhyme and internal rhyme, this should be held up as an example to us all of how to do it well. The poem itself is incredible and I have had to read it several times to get the full measure of it, it is humerous yet serious, quite delightful.


 


Bill Harborne.





 


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