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Author Name: FreeHcivolmra 2 Comments
Date Added: April 28, 2012 19:04:05 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Rhyming
Category: General Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
West Wind
anguish steps forefront to eye,
the deepening shadow's commandinglie,
molding clay into dragon scales,
we join hands as the light fails.
 
Circled around the dying fire tonight,
ancient knowledge flickers in the faltering light,
coaxed out into formless words,
passed on to life by the aberrant birds.
 
Stranger still, the ones below,
skyclad skin of sweating snow,
murmuring chants in ancient song,
muscles bulging, flaccidly strong.
 
west wind come to me,
with the power of intuition to see,
beyond the veil of ashen stone,
through reality's illusionry zone.
 
Author's Notes:
I didn't know what to title this..... chaotic jumble of ordered thoughts. hope you enjoy it.
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'West Wind' Copyright © John Armlovich
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Comments:
Comment By: FreePamela A. Lamppa on June 13, 2012 11:20:35 AM Report

There is lovely cadence to this rhythmic piece.




LOVED these two lines in particular for their sound and feel when read aloud:




Stranger still, the ones below,

skyclad skin of sweating snow,




"sweating snow" is an amazing visual - I wish I'd thought of it.  Nice nice nice. You use oxymoron well for effect in this delight.

I thoroughly enjoyed this.  Thank you.  ~Pamela

Comment By: FreeFirestone Feinberg on April 29, 2012 09:46:45 AM Report
I think the meter and the rhyme scheme are wonderful.  The content is ever-compelling, as always.  I think that -- especially you -- need not know where the are headed when writing.  I always say, 'Don't write the poem -- let the poem write you.'  In your case you need not be told -- maybe just encouraged, what?   --David




 


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