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Author Name: Freealiopterix 3 Comments
Date Added: January 06, 2012 19:01:44 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Rhyming
Category: Mystery/Suspense Add To Favorites | Text Only
Night-time Ride

Night-time Ride



Everyone on the bus was wary

Broken down at night so cold

The moon was high evil abroad

Tension consumed all on board

One cried one called on our Lord

One played with an antique sword

The blade sharp so true and old

The situation taught and scary


It had started off a simple ride

Last bus to all destinations

Home after an evening in town

In the middle of nowhere breakdown

Driver missing fixing engine

What strange force holds sway this night?


Hole in the roof fear early attack

Frightened faces in the darkness

Evil has hijacked the moonlight

Terror sweeps all like bush-fire

Nerves stretched taut like piano wire

Panicked eyes watch the broken skylight

Moon dancing with clouds eyesight useless

Ears strain for a sound then Ė crack


Door bursts open driver returned

Engine fixed overhead lights flood

Music echoes calm restored inside

Journey resumed tension alleviated

Imaginations ran riot now becalmed

Friday thirteenth a cursed date


A flat tyre at night must not scare

Or frighten the brave hold steady

Take the ride youíve paid the fare

And for all things just be ready

Donít let superstition grab you...

Author's Notes:
Friday 13th approaches which for us in England is a combination of misfortune and scariness so in celebration a simple scary story...This poem uses language in a staccato fashion -- fast-paced with minimal punctuation to try and heighten the mood.  If it were music the effect should be a choppy - - jerky read.
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'Night-time Ride' Copyright © Alistair Muir
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Comment By: FreeDean on January 8, 2012 02:36:39 AM Report
Alistair, what can I say? You make me feel extra proud as a Brit. simply brilliant ... and yes, "Evils do hijack the moonlight" from our lives, don't they and haven't they? ~Dean
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on January 7, 2012 07:48:26 AM Report
Oh... this is brilliant..... I do enjoy your style of writing.....
Comment By: FreeFirestone Feinberg on January 7, 2012 05:36:37 AM Report
Brilliant!  Meaningful!  Superb metaphor!  You are a genius!  --David

PS  I love your 'reflecting' rhyme-scheme!


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