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Comment By:  Erick A flores on June 9, 2015 09:28:18 PM |
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Loved it (:
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Comment By:  LindaM on August 22, 2013 03:24:01 AM |
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Amazing poem Dan, just amazing.
You have penned many wonderful poems, but I think this is one of your best.
Your Author's Notes say you don't try to impress, well I AM impressed with the creativity and beauty of this piece.
Linda
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| Comment By: leahlopez on July 11, 2013 01:56:00 PM |
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Best poem I have read in a while. Never drop your pen.
MITZEE
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| Comment By: Brian Dziokonski on December 4, 2012 08:19:43 PM |
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So many layers, wondrously profound! Must read it again. Amazing. Brian.
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| Comment By: tonya turner on November 2, 2012 06:49:31 PM |
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Great writing. Very good.
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| Comment By: ken on October 14, 2012 01:39:45 PM |
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I have endured my time scrolled - too.
Refused to let my soul fly within the nuances of words.
A "terrible deed" to say the least.
this is very well written with a poem inside a poem,
a commendable feat to accomplish without ever becoming convoluted.
A pleasure to meet a kindred soul.
ken
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| Comment By: Kymberly Donn on October 12, 2012 03:02:10 PM |
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This is unique and amazing.We all, as writers, do leave a part of ourselves on the page. Sometimes it leaves us feeling open and raw, like a fresh wound. I am awed by the simple magnitude of this piece and am grateful that you are just you.
~KD~
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| Comment By: SilkinTears on November 9, 2011 12:05:57 PM |
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Wonderful, deep and thought provoking. I love the opening sentence...sometimes the heart needs a break to heal and rolling it up into a scroll into a time capsule to preserve it's soul is necessary. The ending was positive and inspirational as you have met another soul carrying a scroll and the addressee "just me" said it all. We all need to be who we are and at times that may also be to protect oneself.
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| Comment By: Tristan on November 6, 2011 11:49:09 PM |
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An interesting and intriguing write, Dan. The symbolism is powerful as the heart/soul is preserved in the scroll, thereby protecting time in the absence of the poet. The alliteration in line three with the "whirl wind of words... battle worn" added poetic cohesion. The diverse thoughts and feelings spawned a layer of complexity that shrouded the lines with a sense of loneliness and distance. There was poetic sophistication present in the intermittent rhymes. The self-reference in the end seemed to add a paradox – a mysterious personal shadow – an answer to the enigma of the of soul and scroll. Still, I felt a vein of hope and inspiration that, in his time, the poet would re-emerge and show himself again – perhaps changed.. perhaps more open to showing the depths of himself. Very nicely done. The poem read well with the song I was listening to at the time I was reading it called The Storm by Demis Roussos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsTdyMLzXeg
Nicely done. Tristan
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| Comment By: HOPE on October 25, 2011 02:08:49 PM |
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Dan, wonderfully written, Jim is write when you look at the whole piece it is very impressive and creative. Tina
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| Comment By: sHeRi on October 25, 2011 01:12:17 PM |
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A compassionate piece Dan..Sounds as if you may be giving up.. All poetry is rooted from the soul of emotions and sometimes the best work comes from a broken heart. The cracks allow for the feelings to pour out like lava onto your page and it is in the most vivid imagery..as you know I share a commonality with you. God has placed another aside of us but he did give us our own individual identity so if our paths should sever, we will not as humans. Hang in there Guy!!!!
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| Comment By: Jim Kistner Jr on October 21, 2011 07:13:33 AM |
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A unique style that must be read completely to appreciate the fullness of it all. I agree with the other comments..this is excellent!
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| Comment By: Firestone Feinberg on October 20, 2011 07:33:32 PM |
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"Just Me' is a beautiful poem; I can't say I fully understand it -- but I can feel its sad tone. And I read the other comments -- seems you're taking a break from this business, what? Well, if that's it, then I wish you the best -- and hope you'll come back when you are ready to. The poem is lyrical and unique. I wish I could understand things better -- but my brain doesn't work that way. But I recognize beauty when I see it; and I feel feelings by the tome of the words. Whatever it is, I hope and pray it will get Right again. Or maybe it's already right -- then so be it -- and -- Good. For. You. Just. You. --david
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| Comment By: Firestone Feinberg on October 20, 2011 07:33:19 PM |
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"Just Me' is a beautiful poem; I can't say I fully understand it -- but I can feel its sad tone. And I read the other comments -- seems you're taking a break from this business, what? Well, if that's it, then I wish you the best -- and hope you'll come back when you are ready to. The poem is lyrical and unique. I wish I could understand things better -- but my brain doesn't work that way. But I recognize beauty when I see it; and I feel feelings by the tome of the words. Whatever it is, I hope and pray it will get Right again. Or maybe it's already right -- then so be it -- and -- Good. For. You. Just. You. --david
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| Comment By: She Whispers on October 20, 2011 06:15:08 PM |
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So amazing every verse... the detailed version say so much.....
you just write more and more so brilliant and the messages you send!!!
Another classic....
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| Comment By: MoonStar on October 20, 2011 02:09:54 PM |
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Well me friend, this topped all others.. You have such an insight into the wording that when you bring forth something it is like a bright light beaming across the darkness. What images in this.. Oh you must go on, your words need their release. The passion of what you bring sets us free. As does you. So 'play on' my friend. Write with that passion that is so you!
Bring us realce from ourselves through your beautiful words . We are not perfect as siad below by Irene. But we are who we are, and that is writers... Which is a beautiful thing indeed!
Just me
Donna Aka Moonie xx
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