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Author Name: Freeborderline_mary 2 Comments
Date Added: August 08, 2011 11:08:03 Average Score: (Needs 1)
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Type: Rhyming
Category: Sonnet Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
After You Decide

Break soft, my love, and I will follow thee,
To slip between the curves of fog and stars,
My hand in thine and all of aching ours—
And dew dries on the grass beneath her tree
While crickets sing a dirge of dynasty,
To end when acid burns away the scars.
We walk the road of broken iron bars,
Where once the fey hung silver bells for me
To hold fast in the stillness without wind;
To hold thee as the last breath I will draw,
While crystal cries and spiderwebs apart,
I dream of what we were before we sinned—
Of love to bind the heavens and the thaw,
And thee to me: one grief, one joy, one heart.

Author's Notes:
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Comments:
Comment By: PremiumDavid Turner on August 23, 2011 04:39:34 AM Report
A lovely sonnet Violin Lady,
               The sense of profound tragedy that it conveys makes me think that it is about the fall of man and the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the garden of Eden, is the reference  to 'her tree' to the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in Genesis? I hope that my interpretation is correct  and the aching pain in it is not actually yours, only I suppose if you are a Chriastian believer then of course it is:-)




There are some lovely, if very enigmatic lines in it:-








We walk the road of broken iron bars,

Where once the fey hung silver bells for me




While crystal cries and spiderwebs apart,

I dream of what we were before we sinned—








The more I re-read this the more convinced I feel about the interpretation. I first got the idea because of the way in which your sonnet so strongly echoes the end of Milton's 'Paradise Lost:-




"They, looking back, all the eastern side beheld 

Of Paradise, so late their happy seat, 

Waved over by that flaming brand, the gate 

With dreadful faces thronged and fiery arms: 

Some natural tears they dropped, but wiped them soon; 

The world was all before them, where to choose 

Their place of rest, and Providence their guide; 

They, hand in hand, with wandering steps and slow, 

Through Eden took their solitary way." 




David










Comment By: FreeTomahawk on August 8, 2011 11:48:51 PM Report


A most poignant piece, very well done. I see, from your picture there, that you play the violin, or viola, can't get the size from the picture. I play, too, it's a blue violin, by the by. Again, nice work.


 


Len





 


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