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Author Name: Freeborderline_mary 4 Comments
Date Added: November 17, 2010 13:11:01 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Rhyming
Category: Broken Hearts Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Inseparable
You are the heat that ate my bones and melted me
You are the brittle shell of frost that would not be
I am the last resort to which you cannot run
I am the first clean breath drawn in by anyone
 
You were the benediction to my silent prayer
You were the only danger that was never there
I was the grand experiment you would regret
I was the easiest in theory to forget
 
You are the unreal numbers that express my sum
You are the blinking cursor I can't overcome
I am the broken lie you still can't reconcile
I am the one who loved you fully all the while
 
You were the reeling dream that dizzied every day
You were the poem made up of words I couldn't say
I was the only one who never doubted fate
I was the only one to realize you too late
 
You are the first I ever loved and ever lost
I am the price you paid before you knew the cost
Author's Notes:

 

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'Inseparable' Copyright © Jessica Ruth Myr
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeHelen on January 9, 2012 01:16:53 PM Report
Marvellously interesting; interestingly marvellous...
Comment By: PremiumDavid Turner on February 16, 2011 08:20:24 PM Report
A powerful piece Ruth. I wonder did you think about this? It is almost in sonnet form - if you lost one of the quatrains then it would be, sonnet form is powerful for expressing love and the loss of love so I think it would be worthwhile to change it. Also this line:-



You are the unreal numbers that express my sum





Would I think be more powerful if you introduced the mathematical  idea of 'unreal' numbers that are called complex numbers. These are numbers that involve the square root of  ' -1 ' Such numbers are completely unreal since (-1) x (-1) = +1 and there is no way that any real number multipied by itself can give -1. The Square root of -1 is called 'i'. Though it cannot exist it can still be used in mathematical equations and give valid answers as long as at some point you multiply i by i and get -1




EG (x-i)(x+i) = x^2 + ix -ix -1 = x^2 -1 

so the solution to the equation x^2 -1 = 0 is

x = i or x = -i





So you could say:-




You are the complex numbers that express my sum




And have a reference to some  difficult mathematics, and at least those of us who know a bit of higher mathematics would get something extra out of it:-)




David













Comment By: FreeGraham Jones on January 12, 2011 12:04:58 PM Report
Wonderful work and those last two lines bring it all together with a bang, hauntingly good~Graham.

Comment By: Freeb doneff on November 19, 2010 01:07:58 AM Report


Oh my...I loved your work before, and I cannot tell you how much I love it still since coming back. YOu are indeed a gifted writer, and we are the richer for your sharing. Excellent work.

Barbie





 


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