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Author Name: ModeratorJillian Alexis 1 Comments
Date Added: July 13, 2010 01:07:40 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Inspirational Add To Favorites | Text Only
A Witch had met a Christian,
while walking down the street;
The Witch began to tremble,
as they began to speak.
The evil one did seethe at him,
"Do not go near my Lair";
The Christian simply stood there,
and smiled as she glared.
The old Hag squinted slyly,
as she looked into his eye's;
"I'll cast a spell uopn you",
and he said, "Don't waste your' time.
For God is much more Powerful,
than the cowardly beast you serve;
For one day you will burn in Hell,
then you'll get what you deserve".
"I'll ask the other witches,
to bring harm in many ways";
The man of God simply smiled and said,
"Go ahead Crone , make my day.
I'll not compare my glorious God,
to the evil way's of yours;
And when you see Him in the sky,
you'll confess Jesus is Lord".
The Witch shook with great fright,
"This fight is not over yet";
He calmly looked her in the eyes;
"You wanna make a bet?
Greater is He Who lives in me,
than He who lives in the World,
God is the One who wrote this down,
it's your lies against His Word".
She hissed at this believer,
as he gave her a confident look;
"Hey Witch, don't mess with a man of God,
He also wrote that in His Book".
Copyright © 2006  Jillian K. Alexis
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Comment By: PremiumDavid Turner on July 13, 2010 05:32:39 AM Report
Hi Jillian,

        This is a  neatly written and well rhymed poem. In this verse:-


The evil one did seethe at him,

"Do not go near my Lair";

The Christian simply stood there,

and smiled as she glared.


It read to me at first as if the Christian was smiling and glaring at the same time! But on re-reading you mean that the Christian smiles at the witch's glare. Since 'lair' and 'glared' are really just a half rhyme, you could clarify and regularise the rhyme, by writing



The evil one did seethe at him,

"Do not go near my Lair";

The Christian simply stood there,

and smiled at her glare.


also the archaic usage, 'did seethe at him'   stuck out a bit, especially as you used a number of modern colloquialisms:-


 "Don't waste your' time.


"you'll get what you deserve".


"Go ahead Crone , make my day.



"You wanna make a bet?




"Hey Witch, don't mess with a man of God,


I think you should either make it all modern English usage or all archaic or simply remove the colloquialisms, which any case are I think rather clichéd and should be replaced with more original expressions.


I take issue with your traditional view of witches as being devil worshippers and in league with the devil in order to acquire magical power. There may in the past have been people who believed that it was possible to acquire such powers by performing rituals to communicate with the DEvil. They were surely mistaken. Not believing in god I don't believe in devils either, but modern witches and many ancient ones were simply nature worshippers, pagans who worship and revere the Natural World, enviromentalists really:-)  Wise women who practiced herbal and holistic healing.


In truth it does seem to me rather dangerous to perpetuate the myths about the kind of witch you are describing. Such ideas are very frightening to young children. I can rember at my infant school (Grade I class) sitting there terrified as the Catholic Nun who was my teacher taught us about hell using an horrific picture of hell :-




Warm Wishes (and I don't mean hellishly warm wishes :-)





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