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Author Name: FreeTristan 7 Comments
Date Added: May 05, 2010 21:05:01 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Rhyming
Category: Love Add To Favorites | Text Only
When? - A Mystery Co-Write

Co-Write between Tristan and a Mystery Woman

With trembling hands I reach to touch your face

as thoughts unbid will rest no more denied.

Can there be such a time, or such a place

where wishes fly on every tear that's cried?

Those clouds above whisper a mystery;

they each have tears and wishes wrapped within.

Now passion from a heart there by the sea

will kiss the places ev'ry tear has been.

Oh how I miss the way that once we were,

our naked bodies glowing in the night.

In opened arms with nothing left obscure,

we held each other close with all our might.

When will we share our hearts that way again?

Will life let me love you? If so... then when?

Author's Notes:
A Shakespearean sonnet written in iambic pentameter between a mystery woman and myself about love.
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'When? - A Mystery Co-Write' Copyright © Tristan
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Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on June 12, 2010 12:50:39 PM Report
"The course of true love never did run smooth." ~Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream 

Your words blend together flawlessly and are the embodiment of love. This was a delight to read.


Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on May 6, 2010 02:29:18 PM Report
Simply exquisite work, Tristan.....It is so filled with passion, but with glistening tears.....A very welcome read on this cool, Oregon afternoon...

Margaret....the Baglady

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on May 6, 2010 07:32:29 AM Report
Tristan:  this is lovely, sigh.   I wish I could write sonnets but iambic pentameter just is NOT in my creative works....


Lady D

Comment By: FreeMoonStar on May 6, 2010 02:57:25 AM Report
Absolutely beautiful! This brought tears to my eyes. Your word usage is sheer perfection. I so love how the words held that haunting quality to them. This was excellent!



Moonie xx 

Comment By: FreeGlata on May 6, 2010 02:55:57 AM Report
What an absolutely beautiful lament, Tristan...Whomever she is, she's a lucky woman to have such devotion.
I think that all of us can relate to a lost love or a love that is dying...or one that we wish to just refresh...and this made me think of it all.
Beautiful work, my friend.

Comment By: FreeLinda Jo on May 5, 2010 11:47:43 PM Report! a perfect blend of romance and mystery. This feels like a haunting message to a past love that will never be forgotten...maybe even a first love that had a tragic ending...wonderful searching lines like, "can there be such a time, or such a place, where wishes fly on every tear that's cried" and "when will we share our hearts that way again?  Will life let me love you?  if so...then when?"  another one of those poems that makes the reader ask....why didn't I find the words to write this? it will become one of my favorites...
Comment By: FreeAmanda on May 5, 2010 11:42:50 PM Report
This is incredible. I especially like these two lines: "Can there be such a time, or such a place where wishes fly on every tear that's cried?"

Very thought provoking. The past seems to be but a dream... (a land where wishes fly on teardrops).


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