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Author Name: FreeTristan 6 Comments
Date Added: April 18, 2010 10:04:31 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Rhyming
Category: Sonnet Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
A Stormy Night - Trilogy Three
 
 
 
A Stormy Night
 
(Number Three of a Trilogy of Sonnets)
 
In turning to my God I feel unfair

to ask of Him to free me from this day

or offer Him another cross to bear

when I alone, in daylight, lost my way.

I travel down a road that soon will end

and yet I cannot find the way of peace,

nor can I feel the presence of a friend,

as thunder brings a night that will not cease.

My memories will keep me brave and warm

but dreams, they cannot heal my blinded sight,

nor are there any rainbows in this storm,

so I am forced to live this darkest night.

My aching heart resounds a final plea,

'I see, Oh God! The street... it ends. Spare me!'
 
 
Author's Notes:
Shakespearean sonnet using iambic pentameter relating the final night (Sonnet 3) in my journey into myself... represented by the triology of sonnets found here.
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeCindy Bendel on July 25, 2010 11:37:09 AM Report
I am in awe of your writing and being. How honest and openly you express your inner soul without caution or fear of reproach. King David wrote of his darkened paths,  Psalms, with this same quality and he was described by God as " a man after mine own heart.
Exquisite trilogy Tristan. You honor us with your presence here.
~Cindy xo

Comment By: PremiumHOPE on July 25, 2010 09:03:56 AM Report
Tristan

Honestly I got chills down my spine and goosebumps.  I want to cry.  Your words are so powerful and so moving.  A truly beautifully written set of three.

Tina

Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on July 23, 2010 01:40:31 PM Report
Making peace with the creator is one thing but making peace with yourself is quite another and both equally as challenging. Many believe the Creator's heart is happy and ready to take up your cross. Many believe that Jesus paid the price for all sins and so you bear no cross. I offer encouragement by means of any of these words of believers and beseech you to take this day and all of its thunder to God and leave it for him to carry.

Feeling a bond of friendship depends on how do you describe "friends" and your expectations of them. This is a subject for a later time. 

"but dreams, they cannot give the blind their sight,
 nor are there any rainbows in this storm," ...loved these lines for the strength they add to the message and the simple beauty of them...the hopelessness of the situation shown by the absence of a rainbow--a promise in which onlookers were given hope.  

I respectfully disagree with "I am forced to live in this darkest night" for to do so is a choice like any other. Choose freedom...what is holding you back?

Wonderful presentation...creatively giving life to agony. The turmoil within the trilogy is right in my face and difficult to ignore. I do believe the reader's emotional response to a piece is as important as the critique of the creativity/structure of the poem...in fact few here can (or do) separate the two. Some members have been offended by my opinions and have had them removed...yet I will always believe that when it comes to a well rounded critique the two go hand in hand. I hope not to offend but feel it is worth the risk to say what I have. It has been a pleasure Tristan. Thank you for sharing.


~Barbara D.~ *exercising freedom of speech*

Comment By: FreeGlata on May 10, 2010 07:48:36 PM Report
A trilogy that held me from the first lines to the last ones, Tristan...You tell a tale of woe and despair with such perfection that it holds the interest of the reader spellbound.
I think that most of us, as writers have journeyed down a similar path at one time or another...but you've told it with such skill that it just boggles the mind!
Well written...bravo, my friend...You walked that path, but also came out on the other side to tell this tale.
Hugs...
Glata

Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on May 1, 2010 02:36:19 AM Report
Hello Tristan
 You write exquisite poetry and both your content, meaning and rhythm are spot on. A joy to read.You do remind me of an old time poet but not sure who. You were probably a poet in a previous life so that maybe explains it. I see it from time to time and it's fascinating.
 Alison x
into favs
Comment By: FreeLinda Jo on April 18, 2010 10:13:31 AM Report
wonderful sonnet!  I find sonnets quite a challenge to write...yours flows with such ease!  I find in your lines a combination of light and dark...just like the ebb and flow of life...the concluding lines were fantastic! so well written.




 


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