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Author Name: FreeTashtego57 22 Comments
Date Added: April 16, 2010 11:04:05 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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My Heart She Owns

In spring she comes to tease the eye,

the exquisite sakura bloom.

Bewitched beauty he can’t deny;

a sweet perfume.

 

Her rains refresh the barren ground,

renews the earth parched and distressed.

So softly with subconscious sound;

renewal’s quest.

 

With stealthy grace she stalks the night,

like elegant panther paces.

Bonfires erupt from sultry sight,

passion races.

 

Softly coos with love’s warm embrace

belies a protective nature.

Life surrendered in offspring’s place.

She will endure.

 

Be creamy curves and velvet lips

or taut with most muscular tones.

Feminine nature far outstrips.

My heart she owns.

Author's Notes:
Sapphic Ode (Pope Style)

Three line iambic tetrameter
fourth line iambic bi meter
or
three line 8 syllables
fourth line 4 syllables

Rhymed abab, no limit on stanzas.

My prompt was: The Delicacy Of Femininity
 
(I think I want to do something eaiser next time....)
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on June 9, 2010 12:13:43 PM Report
Whoo hoo..kudos2U!! This was a real treat eh...you know when I came to "renewal's quest" something clicked and right there I had to stop...for the strongest feeling came over me that this would be a fantastic title for this poem. Why am I telling you this? Hmm...maybe because it really felt a bit odd and I thought it was worth mentioning. I love it when this happens because it feels like a huge tap on my brain...hell I'm glad something gives it a nudge every once in a while. This was quite a challenge and you aced it man! Whew...look at YOU go!! =))

~Barbara~ *sitting in the cheering section feeling proud of you* 

Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on May 25, 2010 11:07:43 AM Report
Such discipline and stamina on this work, dear Andrew!!  And, Holey Moley~!!  What descriptions, such loveliness in visions and emotional lines~!!  WONDERFUL.....You have done beautifully.  I probably would not make it through the outline....*smile*

Margaret...the Baglady, who hopes that Andrew enters this one~!!

Comment By: FreeJo on May 21, 2010 03:24:41 PM Report
Ha, what a sweet talker you must be!  This was fabulous.  The ending makes the reader catch their breath.  Amazing job on the writing.  Glad I got to read this one.
Comment By: FreeMoonStar on May 13, 2010 12:44:05 AM Report
Hah! Can't write my foot! This was absolutly beautiful.... I am in awe of your golden pen and can not even imagin that you only starting writing.. You are a born poet.. This style, hard as it is, just goes to prove you can do anything, and brilliantly, once you set your mind to it.. Fantastic...... Fav list.

 

Bravo  Sambo King..  (yea now it's spelled right) lol

 

Huggers,

Moonie xx

Comment By: FreeJuliet The Harlot on April 30, 2010 08:11:29 PM Report
I like!

Its so soft and romantic.

I wish my BF did stuff like this

Comment By: FreeSilkinTears on April 27, 2010 10:33:02 PM Report
I can only imagine how hard this was to write, reading your author's notes described the difficulty very well. Fantastic job, bravo Andrew.
Helen
Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on April 27, 2010 05:15:25 AM Report
You are coming along leaps and bounds! I could not write within such restriction.
Well done Ali x
Comment By: FreeLeila on April 26, 2010 10:24:17 PM Report
Very interestuing style and poem.

leila

Comment By: FreeMelody on April 26, 2010 10:38:38 AM Report
Andrew that last stanza was magnificent. I can't imagine the difficulty writing this piece but I bow to the master. The crown has been passed to you as the most original in theme and form. Or would you like an Oscar of sorts, :] never mind you RULE
Comment By: FreeHannah Mae on April 22, 2010 11:11:57 PM Report
I think I'm a big fan of this one, both style and subject. I must say, given my attachment to the subject, I kept thinking that the whole work could go to describe rain. Yes, passion, love, even the delicacy of femininity, but just the all-encompassing, recurring event of rain. Maybe because it was a bit of a rainy day, but still, how refreshing :)

 

~Mariquita

Comment By: FreeAngelface on April 22, 2010 08:42:38 PM Report
Wow, not sure who this is too, but Andrew this was a delightful read! I really enjoyed it very much!

 

Cool..I still want that write with you!

 

GBU Angelface

Comment By: ModeratorJillian K. Alexis on April 21, 2010 08:34:15 PM Report
Bravo Andrew.  You penned this write wonderfully!  It showcases your talent as a writer.  I will have to try and write one.  I imagine it is more difficult than it looks.  Great job, my friend...Hugz...Jillian
Comment By: FreeCindy Bendel on April 19, 2010 03:06:46 PM Report
~warms the senses and so full of the passion in you. poetry ain't too shabby either lol.
wooooo my head is swimming!!
cindy 

Comment By: FreePamela A. Lamppa on April 19, 2010 02:14:23 PM Report
beautiful my friend.
I am pleased to read this gem.
You have handled the form very well and written beautifully to this prompt.
What  a pleasure. *smile*

One to be proud of..  I loved it. ~Pamela  :o)
Comment By: FreePamela A. Lamppa on April 19, 2010 02:03:19 PM Report
beautiful my friend.
I am pleased to read this gem.
You have handled the form very well and written beautifully to this prompt.
What  a pleasure. *smile*

One to be proud of..  I loved it. ~Pamela  :o)
Comment By: FreeJennifer on April 18, 2010 09:45:28 PM Report
first this goes to my favorites.

second you have to teach me in "toddler" terms what iambic tetrameter and iambic bi meter means PLEASE!
third I gotta say I think of our very own SHE WHISPERS when I read this. I am sure she will love this poem!
I Know I do! It is such an elegant flowing poem I would love to try this form if I could ever understand what Iambic bla bla bla means!
Very good poetry!
Jenny

Comment By: FreeTanya Harrison on April 17, 2010 11:14:09 AM Report
Very beautiful! Well done.
Comment By: PremiumHOPE on April 16, 2010 08:41:46 PM Report
A beautiful poem  and perfectly done.  A wonderful description of a "Natural Woman"  I have tried iambic poetry and I know how difficult it is and I have given up on it.  So please continue, you did a terrific job.
Tina

Comment By: FreeLinda Jo on April 16, 2010 02:58:37 PM Report
well you know the first stanza is my favorite...sakura blooms that tease the eye...ummm...what a creative reflection on the delicacy of femininity...you bring out so well the diversity...who says a woman is always a demure creature?  "with stealthy grace she stalks the night...like elegant panther paces"  this is just fantastic!...do you think you could make a movie next?

now i feel the need to say something about the form...wow, a challenge to say the least...great job!  you are tackling these forms with what seems to be great ease...I dont even see any perspiration on your upper lip...or forehead, either.  keep up the great work...seek the challenge...you are growing with each new post...so no slacking, my friend!! 

 

Comment By: FreesHeRi on April 16, 2010 12:17:31 PM Report
WOW Andrew...This is so great, full of character and flavor. I was trying to select a fav line but I enjoyed eac and every word. It is a seducing write, and very complex. This shows your devine talent and skill. When you do write it is delightful....

I saw myself in this piece..esp the lines:

In spring she comes to tease the eye ( the layers shed and skin revealed)

With stealthy grace she stalks the night, (everyone has a good and bad side to them

 Softly coos with love’s warm embrace...Belies a protective nature ( so many hold back but do want to be seized by passionate hands)

 

  

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on April 16, 2010 12:12:33 PM Report
Andrew:  as Travis says, you are good with these.  This is so beautiful and you know how I love Nature writes.  Keep up the GREAT writes with the stylin'!!!

 

Lady D

Comment By: FreeAngel Wings on April 16, 2010 12:07:59 PM Report

WOW!! This is Amazining. Wonderful job, Andrew.


Angel






 


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