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Author Name: FreeRaspberry Ice Nymph 18 Comments
Date Added: March 20, 2010 07:03:54 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Horror Add To Favorites | Text Only
Obscure Mist

An obscure mist invaded my dreams

Tremor stricken veins causing my screams

Dark resentment with wings it soared

Hordes of sick images leaving me cold

Sucked out my soul, turned it to vile

Eyes nailed closed with fervent guile

Touch so evil my heart turned to stone

Personal resentment is now its home

Gasping I breathed in the stench of decay

Tentacles of disgust unable to convey

Subconscious threaded with stitches of doubt

Malicious thoughts soon gave sprout

Not a demon or apparition from hell

Yet just as evil that grows and dwells

Inside the minds of innocent men

Infection of doubt visits once again

Author's Notes:
This was written as a challenge to write the power of doubting in a relationship.
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'Obscure Mist' Copyright © Melody
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Comment By: Freejamieson steele on October 9, 2010 02:23:46 AM Report
Observation: Invasion

Symptoms: tremor stricken, screams, eyes nailed closed, stench of decay, infection of doubt.

Recommendation: faith removes all doubt.

Why make mole hills into mountains?


All the best,





Comment By: FreeMary F. Charest on October 7, 2010 09:32:25 PM Report
Very compelling.  Award worthy.  Congrats, my dear.


Comment By: FreeSteve on June 7, 2010 12:10:18 AM Report
The imagery sure grabs the reader.   Congratulations on your award.   
Comment By: FreeBrianna Burton on April 17, 2010 11:32:31 PM Report
Oh P.S... I don't usually read horror, but this one was excellent. :-)
Comment By: FreeBrianna Burton on April 17, 2010 11:31:48 PM Report
That is deep!

I loved the flow and rhythm and rhyme of the entire piece. It's breathtaking. :-) I love it! I'm adding it to my favorites. :-)

By the way, when I saw the poem on your profile, it was in bold... does that mean you won an award for it?

Comment By: FreeTanya Harrison on April 1, 2010 09:15:43 PM Report
Congratulations on your award Melody. Your poem was very worthy of the Featured Poem Award.
Comment By: FreeJohn January on March 30, 2010 09:52:53 PM Report
woww...this iz dope >> very descriptive ican vision it..iluv dis -- every line on point
Comment By: FreeJennifer on March 29, 2010 01:34:19 PM Report
CONGRATS! I knew good things were going to come from you! WHOO HOOO I am so very happy for you!

Comment By: FreesHeRi on March 28, 2010 05:51:36 PM Report
well there you go girl-nice work and congrats!



Comment By: FreeAndrew on March 28, 2010 05:28:37 PM Report
Now there's my gal!!!  Way to go, Ms Chilly Berry!!!!  I knew it was only a matter of time before the accolades began to pour in for you.  I was impressed with my first read and not at all to see this with the award.  Great work from one of my favorites.
Comment By: FreeLinda Jo on March 28, 2010 05:01:06 PM Report
Melody, let me be one of the first ones to congratulate you on your featured poem award!   waaa hoo!  Just the beginning, I'm sure...your talent shines...keep the pages full of your poems, ok?  keep your craft alive!  I'm proud of you, girl ♥
Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on March 28, 2010 04:49:59 PM Report
Melody:  congratulations for the Feature Poem Award for this excellent write.  Keep up the good writes.


Lady Dragonwyck

Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on March 21, 2010 05:00:24 AM Report
Very well written and expresses the challenge well.
Ali x
Comment By: FreeTanya Harrison on March 20, 2010 05:52:21 PM Report
Cool poem. Lots of intense emotions.
Comment By: FreeLinda Jo on March 20, 2010 01:34:40 PM Report

Melody, you have achieved the challenge and more...what a compelling piece of writing!  Your poem takes us far beyond a realm where your reader is free to wander...very powerful poem!   ...just loving your work ♥

Comment By: PremiumDan J. Mazurek on March 20, 2010 09:37:37 AM Report
yes doubt can destroy ones faith in another you are good glad i read some more pf your work the ticker tape of words are flowing around inside your head.
Comment By: FreeAndrew on March 20, 2010 09:34:54 AM Report
i am quite impressed - even if this wasn't in response to a challenge, i'd applaud how you take your considerable talents for creating strong images (usually positive and uplifting) and crafted a story full of questioning and doubt.  your concluding line is powerful - here is what doubt had done to the innocent.  great work.
Comment By: FreeAminath Agleema on March 20, 2010 07:51:47 AM Report
nice poem.


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