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Author Name: FreeBarbara D. 7 Comments
Date Added: March 07, 2010 17:03:06 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Fishbowl

I never dreamed one day

I would have gills

Golden fins and a fan tail

Silent orange

Swimming in monotonous circles

Going nowhere

Over a cold bed

Of aqua pebbles

Close to the silent threat

Of abrasive coral

 

A diver is sunk

In the same staid watery space

His head in a plastic bubble

Air pumped through a tube

Motionless

 

Eyes peer through clear glass 

Yet cannot see clearly

Unaware it takes more than

A sprinkling of food

To sustain me

 

My millionth pointless lap

Just another fish story

When will someone realize

The sunken treasure chest

Is empty

 
 
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'Fishbowl' Copyright © Barbara Demasson
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Comments:
Comment By: Freeken on October 15, 2012 01:17:54 PM Report
Lighthearted and serious with the same pen  strokes



I love the connection to the divers vision and the bowl;



and this:



"Unaware it takes more than

A sprinkling of food


To sustain me"





how often do those around us and the world glorify someone


without ever really seeing them?





you have a knack for metaphor that I admire.





(and a lack of punctuation that irks me;


but I must admit you carry it off with adeptness.)





peace ken








Comment By: FreeSteve on March 8, 2010 02:55:20 PM Report
It all sounds rather 'fishy' to me.   
Comment By: FreeMoonStar on March 8, 2010 04:38:11 AM Report
Now leave it to you to take something so out of the ordinary and make it look so effortless and not only that, but such a fantastic write! All I have to say is this was a great read..

 

Whoo Hoo. blurb.. blurb..

 

Moonie xx

Comment By: Freee. Gene Myers on March 7, 2010 08:18:55 PM Report
Sounds like the life of my wife's Bata fish.  We even commented about it the other day.  What a boring life.
Better than being flushed down a toilet though I suspect, but not much.
Good thing it doesn't have a gun.
Good poem with life like qualities.
Gene
Comment By: FreesHeRi on March 7, 2010 06:50:47 PM Report
Wow...to place yourself in the habitat of a fish and capture their environment as you did is great..I can hear the filter softly vibrate from here. A different plot for sure-well done

 

Sheri

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on March 7, 2010 06:20:43 PM Report
What an interesting write.  So, I'll send a dragon and pegasus and just bring that little fishy over to my place ---

 

Lady D

Comment By: FreeAndrew on March 7, 2010 06:20:10 PM Report
as i read this, i'm seated next to my aquarium, watching my fish make their laps - i dunno - they seem pretty happy to me.

 

but i guess if i were in that tank, i'm be a little less content - nice change of perspective here!





 


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