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Author Name: FreeTashtego57 22 Comments
Date Added: March 06, 2010 15:03:19 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Sonnet Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
The Restless Beast that Lurks

The savage winter winds blow cold
With foot on inch, snow grows tenfold
Brings a gloom he cannot control.
 
Tall white heaps turn slowly to gray.
His patience has nearly run out,
and restlessness sparks him to shout.
Go insane if he has to stay.
 
“Come now” is his paramour’s call,
And to her, he gladly would crawl
But his path’s blocked by a strong squall.
 
It seems all good sense is forgot,
And he ventures into the night.
But cold strikes with all of its might
As he falls to winter’s garrote.

Author's Notes:
Many, many thanks to Pamela for coaching me through my first sonnet.  This is a Sarabande Sonnet (not a Salami Sonnet, coach!).  Pamela gave me "Snow drifts in December" as my prompt, which, given the way this winter has gone, is very appropriate.  I look forward to your feedback.
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeMaples on October 19, 2010 08:38:35 PM Report
What a beautiful and enjoyable poem to read. Made me wonder if I should get a teacher! Bravo, outstanding job!

--Maples
Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on June 9, 2010 12:46:29 AM Report
Alright...okay...now you are just plain showing off!! *laughing* Hell Andrew you've hit it clean out of the park with this one...way to go bud!! HOME RUN!!!

~Barbara~ *impressed and cheering "MORE"*

Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on May 6, 2010 11:49:42 AM Report
Holey Cow~!!....This is AWESOME~!!....With a "teach" like Pam, you cannot go wrong~!! Simply---GREAT work, my poetic friend....I believe that you should enter this for the Award section??...
Thanks for a lovely read...

Margaret.....the ol' Baglady, thinkin' 'bout that restless beast....lol

Comment By: FreeLeila on April 11, 2010 10:25:21 PM Report
How interesting Sarabande sonnet you've written. I enjoy reading your poem as always.
Comment By: FreeMelody on April 11, 2010 09:55:37 AM Report
It seems no matter what the form , or challenge you are armed for battle :] You're amazing in your creativity and making your write enjoyable for all. Awesome Sonnet
Comment By: FreeMoonStar on April 9, 2010 05:07:01 AM Report
WOW!!! Had to search out your writes. And am running into a load of wonders.. Can't write? What are you kidding! You are so talented that I am in awe and may never be able to come out of this spell-bound shock I have come under..

 

This.... Only goes to prove what I just said.  Stunning....

 

Moonie xxx OMG... See????

Comment By: FreeAminath Agleema on March 24, 2010 03:59:02 AM Report
well written very creative sonnet, marvelous work
Comment By: Trialglimmers on March 23, 2010 08:07:11 AM Report
I've done some sonnets, not an easy task, but I'm not familiar with this form....hmmm..looks challenging and it seems you've done a great job.. I love the winter wretchedness of this and thank goodness that winter seems to be gone...knock knock on wood...March is a funny creature full of surprises. I enjoyed the read much....G
Comment By: FreePamela A. Lamppa on March 16, 2010 11:22:53 PM Report
Smiling.
Nicely done here my friend.  Glad we got past the "salami"  LOL
I am pleased, and what a great student you are.
Now, lets do another ...  Shall we?

~Pamela
Comment By: FreeMujtaba H Zaidi on March 14, 2010 07:02:10 AM Report
It is a very delicate sonnet, a really sweet elaboration of imaginative beauty dear Andrew. One suggestion i.e. in the first line of third stanza, you applied 'his paramour'. I think here should be 'her paramour', as paramour is often used as a girl's lover or sex partner, I think. Please accept my apologies if I am wrong.

You are surely a gifted poet with extra-ordinary talent my dear friend.

Kind regards

Comment By: PremiumHOPE on March 13, 2010 03:00:58 AM Report
A lovely sonnet. well done I wouldn't even know where to start.
Comment By: FreeHannah Mae on March 13, 2010 12:00:12 AM Report
Interesting! I have not heard of this type of sonnet before. My personal favorite is the Italian, although the beat is exactly backward to a shakespearian, and therefore a little harder to write. A good first attempt, my friend! Keep at it :)
Comment By: Freekatlyn on March 11, 2010 03:12:21 PM Report

Im not fond of sonnets but this one i enjoyed very much :) Your very talented.


Comment By: FreeJo on March 10, 2010 03:21:32 PM Report
This is really good and coming from me that is saying alot, because so many sonnets that I read are clunky and forced.  This isn't though. Its got a smooth flow and some really pretty phrasing in it.  Great job on it. 
Comment By: FreeGlata on March 9, 2010 07:27:25 AM Report
Very nicely done, Andrew...I usually run and hide when someone mentions teaching me a new style of write, lol, but looks like you tackled it very nicely!

Well done, well done!

Glata

Comment By: FreeCindy Bendel on March 8, 2010 11:01:04 PM Report
i am sooo proud of you jack! 
you have no idea how much i feel inside to see you write such skilled and beautiful poems....you aced this one and you learned from the very best! 
hugs kiss kiss 
cindy xox

Comment By: FreeAngel Wings on March 8, 2010 12:01:31 PM Report
Great, job! It's Excellent I really liked it!

Angel

Comment By: FreeJennifer on March 8, 2010 10:37:11 AM Report
GREAT! GREAT! GREAT! after looking up the words I needed to look up I am spellbound. WOW! I am going to research this form of sonnet, but Andrew I could never hold a candle to the intensity of this poem. I like the poem so much. I wonder if it has to do with working so hard to understand it, Maybe I am patting myself on the back, well I am patting yours as well My friend!
Into my faves!
JEn

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on March 6, 2010 06:28:15 PM Report
She is a awesome writer alway senjoy her poems... great job you have done my friend.... write on Andrew...
Comment By: Freee. Gene Myers on March 6, 2010 06:27:58 PM Report
oh yeah,  make me use my dictionary again.  "paramour"  Never knew that word before.  I'm learning a lot from all you guys.  "blocked by a strong squall."  as in her husband?  Or,   "falls to winter’s garrote"  as in what he'll do if he catches the two of you?  Better watch your step.
Very, very nice Andrew
Gene

Comment By: FreeLinda Jo on March 6, 2010 05:56:37 PM Report
great job, Andrew!  It's much more than a winter's lament, cabin fever,  or winter brings too much snow...it's love's call "and to her he would gladly crawl"   To me this is how obstacles can test the depth of one's love.  the  font and color added to the appeal.  great sonnet...keep 'em coming!
Comment By: FreeShuberth Dias on March 6, 2010 04:28:42 PM Report


its beautiful !






 


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