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Author Name: FreeTashtego57 20 Comments
Date Added: February 18, 2010 23:02:59 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Historical Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
The Contradiction of Command - A Word Bank

The attack came too quickly, no time to react.

He didn’t expect it, but his ship was bushwacked.

“Abandon ship” was the cry and they plunged in the sea

Few made the small island, but now to God they do plea.

 

Now five nights past, under furrowed brow concerns shadow his face.

As moonless midnight passes, he stares into night’s space.

Only seven remain, while 200 have gone to their rest.

Death came on swift wings before they completed their quest.

 

That damned German sub had caught him off guard

With their prop-driven carnage striking mid-ships so hard.

Remnants of a once-proud crew that he felt he’d let down

Are now cast-away with small hopes of being found.

 

“What can I do,” he queries through darkened mood.

Tis far more than collecting firewood or scavenging food.

Both are so scarce, impossible to find

Despair chases his courage, clouding his mind.

 

“I am still the crew’s captain,” he thinks as he stares

I must keep them living with more than just prayers.

We may be endangered, but our hopes can’t be lost

I must keep them hopeful, no matter what the cost.

 

Then just before dawn, on the horizon he sees

The mast of a ship, but of what flag will it be?

Soon he knows it is his, a signal he does loft

And when he sees that they see him, tears fall fast but soft.

 

Should he feel joy for the seven that are saved

Or weep for 200 who went down to their graves?

It’s the contradiction of command with courage he faced.

The decisions are his, ones that can’t be replaced.

Author's Notes:

This one was difficult, as it was my first word bank.  Thanks to Jennifer (I think) for providing a challenging (at least for me) group of words.

 

The words she gave me were:

 

German

Midnight

Shadow

Courage

Swift

Endangered

Cast-away

Firewood

Living
Loft

                                                    

Let me know if you think it works....

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Comments:
Comment By: FreeTanya Harrison on May 5, 2010 01:39:00 AM Report
Andrew I loved this gripping battle poem on the sea! Definately worthy of the Featured Poem Award.  I salute you!
Comment By: FreeTanya Harrison on May 5, 2010 01:38:50 AM Report
Andrew I loved this gripping battle poem on the sea! Definately worthy of the Featured Poem Award.  I salute you!
Comment By: FreeTanya Harrison on May 5, 2010 01:38:50 AM Report
Andrew I loved this gripping battle poem on the sea! Definately worthy of the Featured Poem Award.  I salute you!
Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on May 4, 2010 06:06:31 PM Report
AWESOME~!!  Good work, Andrew!!!  Word Banks can be tough, oft times, but you took this one and brought us a great work.....

Margaret....the Baglady

Comment By: PremiumDan J. Mazurek on May 4, 2010 12:12:58 PM Report
Like a ship up and down on the waves YOU ROCK AND ROLL on this one

Don't ever castaway your pen Andrew.

Comment By: FreeThomas Heath on May 4, 2010 05:14:31 AM Report
well done, and a great poem worthy of award
Comment By: FreeJennifer on May 3, 2010 01:37:11 PM Report
conGRAts! ANDREW! You did an excellent job with this. To reread it again and know I played a part in you winning this award. Makes me totally smile.It was fun for me to make up these words for you. Trying to challange you. ANd you came up with a poem that is so intersting and an all around great story! It was fun working with you. glad to see your page graced with these awards. You deserve them.
Jen

Comment By: FreesHeRi on May 2, 2010 08:38:05 PM Report
Oh Andrew, I am so happy for you. You deserve to shine with this piece and many others...

 

Congrats-

Sheri

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on May 2, 2010 06:24:35 PM Report
Andrew:  congratulations for the Feature Poem Award for this great write.

 

Lady D

Comment By: FreeHannah Mae on March 29, 2010 09:45:56 AM Report
I think it works quite well. Makes me think of black-and-white movies. I liked it :)

 

~Shanna

Comment By: FreeMelody on March 12, 2010 09:51:31 AM Report
Oh it works with a loud OH YEAH:] I love these types of challenges. You nailed it with brilliance. The theme was excellent

Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on March 9, 2010 01:39:53 PM Report
Hey hey!!!! Now you're just showing off. You nailed it Andrew...I'm impressed! I love this type of poem...you had me totally engrossed. Good work!!!! You seem to be able to do anything you put your mind to.

 

~Barbara~

Comment By: FreePamela A. Lamppa on March 1, 2010 07:18:27 PM Report
Well done with this word bank sir.  I do love a good word bank.  You handled it like a pro. ~Pamela
Comment By: FreeSUNSHINE on February 22, 2010 12:09:59 PM Report
Andrew it works, I enjoyed this one very good here here well done!
Comment By: FreeAngel Wings on February 22, 2010 11:30:14 AM Report

Excellent, very well done..i really liked this one!


Angel


Comment By: FreeFarmer on February 21, 2010 04:07:43 AM Report
Wow! I was there. I loved it. absolutely great.

 

Cooper

Comment By: FreeJo on February 19, 2010 09:48:16 AM Report
Great job!  Sometimes these seem forced, but yours was exciting and it read so seamlessly.  If you hadn't said it was part of a challenge I'd have never guessed.  The story was very good as was the writing. 
Comment By: FreesHeRi on February 19, 2010 09:30:13 AM Report
No task is too hard for you..you mastered it well Andrew. Not shy of any detail and provided the reader with a bit of history. Great!

 

Sheri

Comment By: FreeJennifer on February 19, 2010 08:42:50 AM Report
well WOW! to my favorites and YES my name is Jennifer! LOL   I gave you these words, German was the first dog I had a German shepard named Shadow... then I got a dog named MIdnight and now my dogs name is Courage.... I am happy for you that you came up with an awsome poem. I literally read it out loud and It is such a good read! I think it works! WOrd banks can be so hard and you mastered it~
jennifer!!!

Comment By: FreeTanya Harrison on February 18, 2010 11:25:45 PM Report
Andrew, this is an amazing story poem!  What a knock out job, with a word bank poem.  I'm putting this in my vault of favorites.

Another great sea poem.





 


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