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Author Name: Freemary444 3 Comments
Date Added: December 28, 2009 21:12:12 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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IN THE DREAMTIME

IN THE DREAMTIME

 

Dayrime ends and fantasy begins

as darkness descends

We walk across a bridge of stars...

visit Jupiter and Mars

Climb upon a flying trapeze...

with no fear of falling...

to visit the Pleades

We swim in placid oceans

with dolphins and whales

with no fear of drowning

no fears to assail

we see a Rainbow Bridge

where all the animals wait...

to communicate

outside the Golden Gate

We observe the colors...

that no rainbow could behold

shining brightly from above

upon the streets of gold

Fly over a Crystal City

with a view from up on high

surprised at our gossamer wings...

for we never knew we could fly

 

Mary F. Charest

December 28, 2009

 

 

 

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'IN THE DREAMTIME' Copyright © Mary F. Charest
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Comments:
Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on December 29, 2009 09:31:33 AM Report
Whew! I'm out of breath! Thanks for a wonderful trip, Mary. Love your rhyming and fantastic imagery. Good work! ML

 

Comment By: FreeAmber P on December 29, 2009 12:28:03 AM Report
Beautiful imagery.
Comment By: FreeThomas Heath on December 28, 2009 09:56:14 PM Report
i really enjoyed this because of its creativity.

You are exceptionally creative, but my brief critique is that maybe you put to much emphasis on rhyme, which made some parts of the poem feel force.

But this was good overall, and i liked it.





 


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