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Author Name: Freesybilvane 8 Comments
Date Added: November 08, 2009 12:11:55 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Exercise

I take off my clothes first.

It's easy.

People do it every day.

 

Then I strip off my skin.

It's not the first time,

and it hurts much less than I remembered.

 

Finally, I take off my bad habits.

My arrogance.

Lack of patience.

Selfishness.

 

This is the hardest part,

and most people never try.

 

For you, I will.

You deserve me pure.

Author's Notes:
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeCorina on January 31, 2010 07:21:27 AM Report
This is how my husband was, during the last years of his life, pure and clean, and to me, more of a saint than any saint who ever walked among people... You put it so simply and so beautifully... I want to become that too and maybe I learned that a little from Peter...

Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on December 18, 2009 04:22:07 PM Report
I like the idea of exersizing your soul, too...Very unique perspective...Unique is ALWAYS good in a write...len
Comment By: Freeb w mayer on November 10, 2009 12:51:42 PM Report
Love the last line...great images...how about rethinking parts of this...here is an idea:

 

Discarde these bad habits.


My arrogance.


lack of patience.


selfishness.

 

Why say "My" over and over again. I think this is a wonderful piece and that if you rework it a little...just edit it up a bit...you will have a real winner here.

Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on November 9, 2009 01:08:57 PM Report
I love the exercising the Soul...and someone worthy enough to deserve the purity of another Soul is key~!!  Great write, Heike...
Margaret...the Baglady....

Comment By: Freee. Gene Myers on November 8, 2009 07:05:25 PM Report
Exercising the soul ... You got me with that ....       Gene
Comment By: FreeJennifer on November 8, 2009 06:23:41 PM Report
now this is unconditional love. This is beauty within your soul and I really like how you weave your poetry!
Jen

Comment By: FreeLinda Jo on November 8, 2009 05:51:59 PM Report
"you deserve me pure"   wow!  I love that statement!  you really get to the heart of the matter... what a wonderful way to show that love/beauty is not just skin deep.
Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on November 8, 2009 02:04:55 PM Report
Holy cow, girl! There's a power in this that stuns me. You're right. Most don't even try. But I think it takes a lot of trying. Of course, being in love would take a lot of the stress out of it. You speak of a magnificent gift. However, being the discerning woman you are, the recipient of the gift would be worthy. A favorite for me. Well done. ML




 


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