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Author Name: FreeTashtego57 24 Comments
Date Added: November 04, 2009 09:11:46 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Observances Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Sunrise Remembered

Sunrise Remembered

 

He watches the sun creep from

Behind the clouds above the horizon.

His mind recalls another dawn 5 thousand miles and 10 thousand years

A time where the only thing was the mission.

 

Tis a sunrise long ago

Yet the memory is clear

Small boats, bounding waves

Great anticipation tinged with fear.

 

Blooming in the full flower of youth,

a robust young warrior

Both an avenging marauder

And a liberating savoir.

 

But the illusion of romance shatters

With an ear-splitting shriek

As the boat ramp drops and

Fear floods in and resolve grows weak.

 

The loud clattering chatter

The dull thud of impact

Flesh torn asunder

And precious life is attacked.

 

He dives from the boat

His memory seared

A image burned in his mind

His friendís head blown clear.

 

He is enclosed in cold water

Tiny streaks pass nearby

His mates jerk with impact

Their life lost in crimson tide.

 

To the surface he gasps

His footing he regains

As he pushes ashore

ĎNeath the death-dealing rain.

 

This cannot be happening

His thoughts scream inside

His best friend is in pain

Severed limb breaks his stride

 

The C.O. is down

The first sergeant too

A corporal takes charge

But does not know what to do.

 

Our hero seeks shelter

Behind the body of a brother

One thought fills his mind

He longs for his mother.

 

The fighting raged on

He canít remember the hour

At the end of it all

He remains just the stem of that once growing flower.

 

After years have rolled on

His life nearly done

He reflects on his friends

Honor and glory they have none.

 

He watches the sun creep from

Behind the clouds above the horizon.

His mind recalls another dawn

The pain still runs deep, his eyes always moisten.

Author's Notes:
This Veterans Day, please remember those men and women who have sacrificed in war and peace.
 
Never forget - all gave some - some gave all....
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeAfsaneh on July 8, 2010 02:33:29 PM Report
Lovely poetry Andrew. Extremely thought provoking for me.
good work
Afsaneh :)
Comment By: PremiumHOPE on March 13, 2010 03:04:53 AM Report
Very moving.
Comment By: FreeSharon Jorcil James on February 27, 2010 08:11:13 AM Report
WOW! Powerful imagery and a resounding message in memory of those who served. You took me in this write my friend and methinks you are gifted with a huge, caring heart! Absolutely fantastic write.

 

Sharon JJ

Comment By: FreeAngel Wings on February 17, 2010 12:15:47 PM Report
This is such a wonderful poem..i love it ... great write!!

 

Angel

Comment By: FreeShuberth Dias on February 6, 2010 01:42:54 PM Report
its great !

 

Comment By: FreeHannah Mae on January 25, 2010 04:15:08 PM Report
I have to admit I'm a big fan of watching NCIS. Watching that show, though, I think changed my view of soldiers. For some reason, I always thought of soldiers as strong, confident, non-emotional people (I really don't know why, because I've know a few off-duty). But you get a glimpse of their lives, their fears, their dreams from seeing something that shows you both sides of the story. They're amazing people and every last one of them deserves to be remembered and honored.

 

This poem is well written, the rhyme is fantastic.

~Shanna

Comment By: FreeLeila on January 11, 2010 06:25:55 AM Report
Hi,

 In addition to the whole poem, in my opinion, an arc between the first and the last stanzas has been made very strongly and skillfully.

Congratulations! I enjoyed reading!

Leila

Comment By: FreeAmber P on December 30, 2009 02:02:36 PM Report
I like the part about the hero longing for his mother.  It keeps things real.  Clever job.
Comment By: FreeShanik Brooks on December 28, 2009 12:49:05 PM Report
Another masterpiece this was :) You told a very interesting story here. I love the imagery and how expressive this was. Very enjoyable read. Nik
Comment By: ModeratorJillian K. Alexis on December 18, 2009 11:55:02 AM Report
This is a great piece Andrew. Your words ring loud and clear upon the canvas. Great job of penning a wonderful talent...Hugz...Jillian
Comment By: FreeKelli on November 23, 2009 04:54:43 PM Report
Andrew, this is great. You are quite the story teller in this. The imagery makes me feel as though I was there...

 

Take care, Kelli

Comment By: FreeKatryna on November 22, 2009 10:41:30 AM Report
I thank you for the comment that you made on my poem and I read over yours, I think this is increadable, and even though I am only 17 I know what this is like....every summer I train at CFbase bordon, exept this last summer I was in ottawa, my whole family is military based so I am one who is not shelterd from war. you say you are a beginner writer but I think this is past that of a beginners wrighting, great job and hope to see some more

 

god bless all thoes who serve

Comment By: Freee. Gene Myers on November 21, 2009 06:33:01 AM Report
You are one of the few who recognize that not all who go to war die.  Thank you for recognizing the rest of us in your comment.  So many see the fighting men and women, but for every fighting soldier there is something like nine soldiers backing them up with supplies and all the other articles of war.  Personally, I'm tired of all the "squeaky wheels."          Gene
Comment By: FreePamela A. Lamppa on November 12, 2009 11:46:56 PM Report
A hard hitting and emotional piece that will long be remembered as tribute to those who gave.  You use alliteration and assonance with ease.  The show of skilled hand, beyond the grip of the beginner ...  Well done. ~Pamela
Comment By: FreeMoonStar on November 9, 2009 08:58:29 PM Report
Andrew this made one feel the thoughts of that man, his frantic moments of battle, his love for his brothers, his fear for innocence gone.. To one reading this, it brought out the reality of what war truly is. The fight of not only the enemy, but of us within..

 

Bravo to you my friend.. Like Margaret, I stand and give applause!

You are on heck of a writer..

Welcome to our world!!

 

 

 

 

Moonie xx

Comment By: FreeJennifer on November 6, 2009 02:06:40 PM Report

this is going to live in my favorites!


Comment By: Freejess on November 5, 2009 11:56:24 PM Report

As a female soldier who was a combat medic in Iraq, I want to thank you for this piece. I really enjoyed it and it brought back memories of the 5 TODs I was part of with the 44th Medcomm. Thanks again.


Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on November 5, 2009 06:18:53 PM Report
A powerful, dramatic reminder of the sacrifices we often neglect to honor. Very timely, and well done. ML
Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on November 5, 2009 11:06:44 AM Report
I liked the way you personalised the meaning of the poem and gave it much credence in that way. The font was a problem for me as it detracted in a small way from the reading but overall a very moving and meaningful account.
Ali x
Comment By: FreeCindy Bendel on November 4, 2009 10:25:10 PM Report
Babe....this is exceptional! 
What a spectacular piece, so full of insight and pain. I pray that those that give so much will be recognized and appreciated for their sacrifices.
You poet you! 
~Cindy xox

Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on November 4, 2009 05:49:57 PM Report
Andrew...although the font was difficult to read I did read every word. I have never read a poem in which the realistic horrors of war made a home within me. I watched W5 last night and it was about PTSD...journalism at its very best. The program took me closer to the broken soldiers...I learned so much about what active service is really about just by hearing their stories. This poem takes me to that same hell...I know these men will never forget the sacrifices of war...the horrors which haunt them...causing more suicides than the general public realizes. This poem was hard hitting...it leaves me with shaken and breathless. Exceptional expression....great penning. This is MORE than descriptive...you took me there and showed me reality, minds, sacrifice of self these men and women experience. I don't know how they can bear it. Do we ask too much of the soldier? This poem breaks my heart.

 

~Barbara~    

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on November 4, 2009 05:00:54 PM Report
Excellant poem and so well expressed...
 So many payed with there lives....

Comment By: FreeAdri on November 4, 2009 04:56:51 PM Report
Very moving poem. You seem like a pretty good writer to me here ;o) Nice flow and I like the detail.  Very good and intense
Adri x

Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on November 4, 2009 10:41:04 AM Report
Applause, Andrew~!  Thank you for such a detailed account of the soldier and his pain and anguish....I found it rhymed very nicely and gave chilling images and excrutiating emotions....Good work on this piece....

 

Margaret...the Baglady...





 


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