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Author Name: FreeDamon 2 Comments
Date Added: October 08, 2009 02:10:55 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Humor Add To Favorites | Text Only
They Are Out There

Careful Out There:


We had to have the garage door repaired.. The Sears repairman
told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a
'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and
said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2
horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4
horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said,
'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two...'

haven't used Sears repair since in Denver,




daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I
gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed
her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money..' I said,
'Yes I

but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed
and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I
did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry
but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then
proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..

not confuse the clerks at McD's in Dennison , Ia.

I live in a semi rural area. We
recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative
office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our
road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!

think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

>From Manning, Ia.


My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He
said he was sorry, but they only had ice burg lettuce..

Des Moines , Ia


I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage
without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my
knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded,

why we ask..'

Happened in Omaha ,




The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker
of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained
that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she
responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

was a probation officer in Golden, Co.


At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was
leaving the company due to 'downsizing.. ' Our manager commented
cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not
another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with
that deer-in-the- headlights stare.

This was a lunch at a
Dallas Tx. Texas Instruments.


I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back
into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand
stand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the
Carroll County , Ia Sheriffs office, no



my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up
our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to
the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to
unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side,
I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was
unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His
reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'


was at the Ford dealership in Iowa City, Ia






walk among us... and the scary part is that they

Author's Notes:
This is not mine!!!  A very special friend sent it to me, and I just wanted to share it with all you nice people.
Report Offensive Poem.

'They Are Out There' Copyright © Damon D. Brewer
Copyright is property of the above author or group. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly prohibited.
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Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on October 8, 2009 09:09:35 AM Report

Damon:  and these are fairly innocent incidents. 

Lady D

Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on October 8, 2009 07:28:55 AM Report
Thanks, Damon. I needed that. ML


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