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Author Name: Freebwmayer 16 Comments
Date Added: September 13, 2009 21:09:13 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Washwoman

WASHWOMAN

 

She works the mop like an artist

covers the tiled floor canvas

in short strokes of soap

water color brilliance. A scar

runs from mouth to ear

carves her face in a permanent smile.

 

There has been a spill

in aisle five. She looks up

with that eternal grin

 

They need me

Author's Notes:
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Comments:
Comment By: FreePamela A. Lamppa on February 9, 2010 09:09:08 PM Report
Ouch.  This left me sad - a bit lonely perhaps? yet still ... important.
Last line is the clincher - everybody needs somebody sometimes.
This style reminds me of a photograph - a snapshot in time.

I enjoyed this very much. Well done.  ~Pamela
Comment By: FreeAlfred on November 17, 2009 05:43:46 PM Report
My word! How did she receive such a nasty scar? She probably resents the call to clean up aisle five, bit no one will ever know becaue of her eternal grin.
Comment By: FreeLORETTA PITILLI on October 29, 2009 07:39:06 AM Report
Lovely, I felt her being...she was in the moment...fulfilled and needed.  Beautiful  loretta
Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on October 28, 2009 01:30:41 AM Report
I enjoyed reading about this artist and her work. The chosen words glorify a menial job and have the same grand effect as turning a pumpkin into a stagecoach. Fine work!

 

~Barbara~ 

Comment By: FreeSharon Jorcil James on September 25, 2009 09:42:04 AM Report
The way her job is portrayed speaks volumes about the writer's heart. Absolutely fantastic write.

 

Sharon JJ

Comment By: FreeTana McCarthy on September 19, 2009 07:03:09 PM Report
Lovely image, the dignity of the real, I wouldn't change a thing.  Tana
Comment By: Freenoah count on September 17, 2009 09:17:33 PM Report
I guess this is what poets are supposed to do, write good poetry. 
Comment By: FreeJennifer on September 16, 2009 05:57:24 PM Report
very good poetry.  Says so much with so little.

Jenny

Comment By: FreeHeike on September 16, 2009 03:52:44 PM Report
You don't know whether you should laugh or cry at this human portrait.
Excellent work.


Best wishes,

Heike

 


Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on September 16, 2009 02:53:54 PM Report
Loved this.
In a few short lines you captured the motivation ...but also the pride in a humble job well done...
into favs

Ali x
Comment By: FreeH. Louise on September 16, 2009 11:22:17 AM Report
I like the way you have made the most mundane job seem like a work of art. I still feel sad for the poor lady though.

I'm going to put this into my favourites (something I have not done in many months), for I feel it deserves to be placed upon my shelf of masterpieces.

Comment By: FreeAngelface on September 14, 2009 11:45:36 AM Report
I always say, its always better to be needed than not to be needed! Ienjoyed this write! Its peened so well. I loved to be needed and wanted!!

 

~ Angelface ~

Comment By: FreeSavannah Ollar Jordan on September 14, 2009 06:56:43 AM Report
To be needed, may be the greatest need there is and someone already scarred needs to know that she IS needed.   The scar does not brand her, it just makes her more recognizable...very good poem. 
Comment By: FreeA.P. on September 14, 2009 12:53:46 AM Report
this is a great depiction of someone, i love how the speaker has looked so far beyond the surface, shown clearly with just a couple of subtle details, after a concrete description of outward appearance. nicely captured.
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on September 13, 2009 11:12:30 PM Report
 We all need to feel needed..... Great poem of the heart....
Comment By: FreeLinda Jo on September 13, 2009 09:46:36 PM Report
awww, bittersweet!  this contains a warm stamp of realism...and could go into the catagory of topic of the week, A Helping Hand




 


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