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Author Name: FreeAtrophiedRibbons 9 Comments
Date Added: September 06, 2009 12:09:15 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Rhyming
Category: Depression Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Self-Conclusion
My sincerity is plagued by half-hearted lies

God knows that I have been too low, hurt too many, and done too little to fly

Outside of the schools his marionettes gather to strip me of my wings

I awoke on cold concrete with an empty feeling and a fist full of strings

I always keep my head low, away from the heavens. I do not fear my lord.

I fear the demons that lay in wait just outside my door

In black shrouds, unloved and undone. Darker grey reflects my soul.

Beneath black clouds i have become blasphemy in the eyes of that which i extol

Breathe along in the house of leaves. When i die will those i love, love me from the grave?

Will roses reign, or lilies wither? Lackluster love on my casket's face

Lie alone at the end of August; How do I show hope. You've abandoned me at my bleakest....

Soar phantom limbs, speak so softly. Why is the last cut always the deepest?
Author's Notes:
I rarely lie.
I do, however, omit the truth. Quite often.
I feel it's best to just let people use their imaginations.
Draw their own conclusions.
That's simply not the case, but it's still the game that I play.
They're happy to play along. It's fun for the both of us until you move on. Inevitably. Like I told you from the beginning.

Are tears from the heavens enough to wash away
everything I've ever inflicted on you?
I don't think tears are enough to say
I'm sorry for all I've put you through.

When I was in high school I always felt like I was being judged.
So every move I made was deliberate. Every breath I took was intentional. Every phrase I spoke was taken from memory, recited in my mind the night before. Going through scenarios of how this would all turn out. Where's my witty comeback? Got it. Now what?

I always felt like everyone was following the trends but me.
Everyone was a puppet and I was alone in the crowd.
But maybe I was a puppet, because I felt how so many others had felt before in my shoes, but in a different place. In a different time.
So I'm no better.

I was always afraid of the wrong things.
Making the wrong impression.
Rejection and affection.
Letting down my guard.
I was afraid of people instead of problems.
I let petty things keep me down instead of lifting my head high enough to see the light peeking through the clouds.
Something on the brightside.
I was afraid of shedding my skin and changing.
Because all I was ever known for was my baggy clothes
and being last in row.
and never raising my hand
and always being alone.

Unconditional love..is something I would never want.
If you love someone despite everything, what do you love exactly?
So I don't blame you for leaving me now.
If I had gathered courage sooner things would be different.
But I don't blame you.

"A phantom limb is the sensation that an amputated or missing limb is still attached to the body and is moving appropriately with other body parts. Approximately 60 to 80% of individuals with an amputation experience phantom sensations in their amputated limb, and the majority of the sensations are painful."

I guess this just means that I was happy at a time, and that events during high school really cut me down to size. Brought me back down to earth. And rubbed my face in the dirt.

I'll be honest here. The last cut is rarely the deepest.
We usually persevere through the worst, and from there get chipped away at by the smaller things.
Until eventually we bring out what we've all been hiding.
Kept hidden away for that moment when we have nothing left.
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeAngel Wings on July 8, 2010 11:43:39 AM Report
Your so AMAZING...all the best to you forever.
Comment By: FreeMoonStar on May 31, 2010 03:56:13 AM Report
Hmmm read your profile. Yes, all the way!!! lol Lots in common on certain things..

And this piece? Well let me just say you are one heck of a darn writer and am glad I decided to check you out!

 

This rocked.. Great writing all the way..

 

Moonie xx

Comment By: FreeGlata on May 11, 2010 09:05:48 AM Report
Wow...a rather intense write! I have a daughter in high school, and the things she tells me about how kids treat one another sometimes throws me for a tailspin. She's been victimized by some of the girls...and i've read some of her things that she has written and later shown me...after the fact, and all I can do is cry. Not only do they treat each other this way...they treat EVERYONE else that way! Where are morals and manners anymore???

Yeah, I know...I'm showing my age here, lol.

Very good write, by the way...

Glata

Comment By: FreeShanik Brooks on January 9, 2010 01:35:42 PM Report
That first line was amazing...I really enjoyed this piece. Nik
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on September 29, 2009 10:23:11 AM Report
This is just amazing to read...
 emotions so well expressed....

Comment By: Freejoey on September 6, 2009 10:48:50 PM Report
This is by far I think one of the deepest and best poems I have ever read on this site
you have an amazing talent with words and look forward to reading more of your poems 

Comment By: FreeJami Renae on September 6, 2009 09:13:52 PM Report

Great write. I love the part "Lie alone at the end of August; How do I show hope. You've abandoned me at my bleakest...."
It's very dark..
Gives me chills.


Comment By: FreePeter Sammylin on September 6, 2009 08:40:29 PM Report
Hello AtrophieRibbens,

A very profound composition which shares with us the very deepest thoughts of the composer about dead.  It is almost like listening to a Requiem when feasting one's eyes over the splendidly worked out lines that so well do make the body of this poem a great pleasure to read!  A grand achievement!

Greetings; Peter

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on September 6, 2009 12:50:24 PM Report
I like this write.

 

Lady Dragonwyck 





 


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