I've had so much sex that my peter is in a cast.
I've had way too much sex with women in the past.
My current girl is beautiful and the bra that she wears is a Double D cup.
I was about to get out of the relationship but then I knocked her up.
I tried to dump her once but her dad got a hold of me.
He used his Swiss Army Knife to give me a vasectomy.
I gues I'm a slimeball but so are many other men.
Thanks to my girl's dad, I'll never father a child again.