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Author Name: Freesheedreams 7 Comments
Date Added: June 07, 2009 00:06:13 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Nature Add To Favorites | Formatted Version
 
Little Book of Lost Poems
has anyone seen a little book of lost poems with wings that ... dance light as a feather? writings upon the dawn glowing gems of a thousand fireflies enchanted lessons of the wise schoolmaster capture our hearts like a butterfly net   in the Orient an object of beauty is measured by its impermanence were they too fragile?  written on scented rose petals with a hummingbird feather dipped in the ink  of the muscadine where have they gone? in the Orient an object of beauty is measured by a quality of transience   have they traveled to a higher plane to the Land of Crystal Tears Street of New Beginnings and High on the Mountain of Hope          
Author's Notes:
when an author took all of his/her poems off of this site...it certainly created a void...they were missed.
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeLeila on September 15, 2009 10:45:56 PM Report
Yes, It's better; However, you could have written this verse  as  the following;

Has anyone seen a little book of poems dancing in the air?

Here you don't need to add any extra information. Why? Becuase you indicate the light book flying like a feather. You let the reader feel in the air and dance as a feather. Because "dancing" is a kind of lightness.

 

Does it make sense?

 

 

 

 

Comment By: FreeLeila on September 14, 2009 12:27:00 AM Report
Hello,

The images in your poem are nice. But i cannot link to these "likes" used in a verse. For example, consider the first  verse you gathered together many words that they are linked by "like";  dance like as a feather, glowed like a thousand fireflies, thaught like a wise schoolmaster,captured our hearts like a butterfly net. You can simply delet "likes" and let the verse stand by itself . Or divide  this verse into separated parts. In my opinion, with this change your verse or verses will be more concreat and natural. What do you suggest?

Comment By: FreeMichelle on June 25, 2009 02:17:14 AM Report
My favorite insects are fireflies, dragonflies, and butterflies. I love it when people write about them in such pretty ways like you do here. I remember when I was little my Aunt Kathy would take us out every 4th of July and give us each a jam jar and let us out at night to catch the fireflies. I remember once I had a cat named Max and he followed me while I ran with my jar trying to catch the little bugs. He looked so funny tiptoeing his paws through the tall grass. I laughed and my Aunt thought it was so cute.
Comment By: FreeSavannah Ollar Jordan on June 7, 2009 10:05:20 AM Report

Wow, I love this one and especially the last part where they traveled to . . .    I love to read and then re-read as each feeling in a meaning comes to me..this one did it for me.  It seemed to explain every moment in life, you "little book of poems" being life itself...nice.    Savannah


 


Comment By: Freejohn carter on June 7, 2009 09:53:00 AM Report
There has certainly an oriental feel to this Linda. It is very soft and serene.

                                                                            John

Comment By: FreeWide Awake on June 7, 2009 09:14:48 AM Report
I liked the nugget of oriental wisdom in this poem Linda...and the sheer beauty which exudes from it's delicate wings~

Hugs,
Pamela

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on June 7, 2009 08:31:55 AM Report
Wow.....
Your something else pretty lady... Your heart speaks out with such amazing lines this is one of your very best....
I always enjoy everything you write...
A Masterpiece  ****
 Hugs my friend ~ She Whispers





 


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