I wait motionless upon the freshly cut lawn,
Spreading out from beyond my view.
I stare out into the grey painted sky,
I brush my fingers against the dew.
My blue eyes lost in the cold air,
Looking at the morphing clouds,
Meandering across the wide space,
That’s in my thoughts, no one else aloud.
I pull my hand across the sky,
Pretending to push a dove,
As it throws its self towards the sky,
And disappears to a world above.
I close my eyes and shut my ears,
And I can still hear the sound of the cold,
Running through my hair, grasping at my heart,
This is loneliness, so I am told.
I try to get away from the world I created.
Inside my violent mind.
There’s that dove I saw before,
So pure, so gentle, so kind.
In my world, I am that bird,
Propelling through the sky.
Looking above all other things,
There’s no time to cry.
My eyes tighten suddenly,
Fighting of the pain,
I hear the soft sound in my head,
“I wish you’d smile again”
I open my eyes as fast as I can,
My head against the grass,
I close my mouth, no word to say.
Hopefully this time will pass.
The needles of rain come for me,
Asking for my tears,
To late for the rain to take,
All my lost fears.
I remember so much pain,
Yet remembering does hurt,
I remember it all at once,
But where do I start?
I bring my head up,
To face the end of my dream.
I remember that dove once again,
It’s not as beautiful as it seems.