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Author Name: FreeBarbara D. 15 Comments
Date Added: November 08, 2008 12:11:06 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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A Worthless Prize
Does he know
My ear is to the wind
I store his every word
Even those whose barbs
Hook fresh wounds
Does he know
I drown in the depths
Of idle emotion
Without attempt to swim
Or the wisdom to save myself
Does he know
Fool's paradise is not heaven
As hollow as a Trojan horse
My chest conceals the ruins
Of a worthless prize
Author's Notes:
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'A Worthless Prize' Copyright © Barbara Demasson
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Comment By: FreeFilthy on April 27, 2009 03:01:27 PM Report

If someone were to ask me why i love poetry...i would happily show them this.

This one is going into my faves.

Comment By: FreeJulie on February 13, 2009 02:34:37 PM Report
Painfully honest.  My favorite part is the mention of idle emotions.  What a perfect description!
Comment By: FreeAngel on January 12, 2009 07:33:16 AM Report
You are gifted with words darlin




Love Angelxx

Comment By: FreeAmy on January 8, 2009 02:09:11 AM Report
If poetry is intended to make the reader have hit your mark. This oozes heartache. Each verse can stand alone as a short poem but together I got a triple tug at the ol' heartstrings.

Enjoyed as always


Comment By: FreeHenry M. on November 15, 2008 09:17:24 PM Report
Heartache and disillusionment prevail in this poem Barbara, you may be wounded but you are far from weak!    Henry
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on November 12, 2008 11:01:53 PM Report
Great poem of heartbreak, Barb...Very effective wording...len
Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on November 12, 2008 04:48:21 AM Report

I hear your voice all the way through...
Ali x

Comment By: FreeSilkinTears on November 10, 2008 12:08:21 PM Report
Wow Barbara...deep powerful and full of emotion. Oh yes is he only knew that a heart in ruin is a worthless prize. Oh but his eyes cannot see for he is blind.

Comment By: FreeHeike on November 9, 2008 06:54:29 AM Report
Barbara, what an amazing poem, or perhaps rather a song of the deepest emotion there is.

I understood the Trojan horse metaphor in that the narrator thought that she had conquered love and now realizes that it had been an illusion.
In any way, this is wonderfully written.



Comment By: FreeCeeCee on November 8, 2008 10:19:49 PM Report
Nice imagergy, Barbara, and depth of feeling...loved the line about the barbs  "drown[ing] in depths of idle emotion.



Comment By: FreeSteve on November 8, 2008 10:18:50 PM Report
The affect of your poem is greater than the sum of the words..
Comment By: FreeFLETCHER on November 8, 2008 05:25:13 PM Report
Being I have drown in depths of idle emotions myself I could realy relate to this one Barbara.
Wonderful write.

Comment By: FreeRichard Michael Cronin on November 8, 2008 02:56:14 PM Report

Well done! As usual!

Comment By: Freenoah count on November 8, 2008 01:18:52 PM Report
Just tell me where this heart ruiner lives.
Comment By: PremiumDavid Turner on November 8, 2008 01:12:04 PM Report

The first verse Barbara seems a bit mixed in metaphorical terms.

I am not sure whether the words are are being carried along with the wind or are floting down a river. Perhaps you shold make this stanza into two?





Does he know

I have my ear to the wind

And its whispering

Brings me news

That hurts my ears.


Does he know

I float in the fast currents of rejection

My heart catching at his every word

Even those whose barbs

Hook fresh wounds


Also I was a bit puzzled by the images in the last stanza.

The first two lines seem contradictory, would it be beter to say:-


Does he know

Fool's paradise is not heaven





I am but a broken Trojan horse

A heart in ruin

Is a worthless prize


Here 'a broken Trojan Horse' seems a complex image. An unbroken Trojan horse has to be a succesful and clever trick - so a broken Trojan horse is one in which the trick has been exposed.


I presume you want to say that you have been smashed and ruined so perhaps a different classical image would be more appropriate say:-


I am but a broken Acropolis

A heart in ruin

Is a worthless prize





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