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Author Name: Freemaybememories 7 Comments
Date Added: October 06, 2008 21:10:15 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Love Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
between the ice and the stars
An ice capped landscape is where you will see my final picture
Because I thought falling in love was a dream until I slipped into that fissure
An abyss would seem like a nightmare, but love tricks both the practical and the wisher
I wondered if my bruised heart would ever heal, knowing I would never stitch that suture
And I'm getting use to being alone between these sheets of ice, but I didn't wish for that future

What's the point in yelling for help? My heart has already frozen over
I can only look up at the stars jealous, that in space you don't feel the weight of growing older
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on October 9, 2008 01:03:35 AM Report
I liked this Shoaib....It was full of depth of thinking and has a sense of such resignation to it.
I did not care for the longer lines but that's only because I tend to make mine shorter and its your poem lol
well done.
Ali x

Comment By: FreeRachel on October 7, 2008 04:15:53 PM Report
you must have an old soul because 23 almost 24 is not old! lol as aways you are wonderful with metaphors. i love the title, as soon as it on the new poems list i knew it was yours.
Comment By: FreeMISS_VEE on October 7, 2008 06:29:00 AM Report
ooooo this is really good my friend.

I guess just taking the chance at love may give some good results, dont leap n you'll never know....not that i can talk....

 

VEE xx

Comment By: FreeA.P. on October 6, 2008 10:45:05 PM Report
very chilling, i felt every word through your imagery.
nicely written.

Comment By: FreeHeidi Campbell on October 6, 2008 10:09:50 PM Report
Ah, the uncertainty of love, yeah, do you love and take the risk? Or not love and suffer? I think to sincerely love and accept the vulnerability that comes with it, and take that risk, only helps us to learn and grow more....to not love, at all, welcomes misery, to become miserable, we won't even allow ourselves to be loved.....Yell for help, the ice will thaw....all comes down between risk and choice, very well written Shoaib, like that one alot....taught me a little something and I love to learn, great work!

 

Heidi

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on October 6, 2008 09:32:23 PM Report
As always you deliver great poems with so much emotions
 ~ She Whispers

Comment By: FreeChris B on October 6, 2008 09:18:39 PM Report
Very interesting style...the longer lines are a bit different for you, but you did a fine job with it...Very nice connections with the landscape and the way you describe your heart...Fine write sir...

Chris





 


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