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Author Name: FreeBug 5 Comments
Date Added: September 30, 2008 02:09:01 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Nature Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
swan
I long for the sounds of wind and water
the evernew refreshment of rain
in a run and fall from leaves or between
yellow bulbs of pitch in decoration.
Sparking remnants of sun, it collapses
to lady's slipper and seeps
through blue mesh of my mother's water shoes
I borrowed for this sojourn
into my memory of this once home.
 
I hear the river before me, choking,
stumbling in delirious laughter over every stone
he would have known had I not
misplaced them as a child
into the middle
where I could not reach but to swim
and could not swim for the current
that would pull me beneath to witness
my indiscretion before my drowning.
 
I feared it, rode it's back in my father's black canoe
in the terror of tipping, meeting the unpredictability
of waves. My tiny paddle useless and dependent
on father and mother's strength
to carry me on.
 
The runoff has ceased but the river is high
with the stupor of latesummer showers.
Standing too far back from the bank to distort
his running I hear him sing to me. His children,
borne miles in cloud mists dust on to my face,
in an effort to be spellbound, and I let them.
River calls me harder but I turn and pull the ropes
my father throws to me, and instead
I set up a tree stand with my dad.
Author's Notes:
This...was unusual. It is not in my usual style, and it carries a different feeling from most of my other work. I'd love to hear if any of you saw any difference, or if it sounds rather the same.
 
The title 'swan' refers not only to the Swan River of the poem, but also to a definition I did not know until this evening: to wander around in a relaxed way, especially one regarded as irresponsible or selfish. (Microsoft Encarta Dictionary). It's synonyms are to wander, drift, or float.
 
(The last line seems a little incongruous, but I put it in there for my daddy ;)  )
 
thanks for reading!
~Shanna M.
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on February 2, 2009 06:09:44 PM Report
I think if we stick to a "usual style," stagnation is not far behind... I loved the poetic flow of this, Shanna...len
Comment By: FreeJonathan Ivy on October 11, 2008 04:25:14 PM Report
that was a great write i have not read any of your other works yet but i did really like this one!
Comment By: PremiumRaymond Pinsonneault on September 30, 2008 12:45:29 PM Report
Absolutely beautiful write Shanna, every line so intriguing, word choice, balance, vivid imagery...
"the river choking, stumbling, delirious laughter"  you have discovered how to bring sound to imagery in words..." sparkling remnants of sun" borne miles in cloud mists dust"...etc...
I'll be reading all of you as I go along. I have 3 favorites to date and you are one.

Comment By: FreeCathy on September 30, 2008 08:31:16 AM Report
Well done with this you capture your reader with  your words and take us on this incredible journey with you superb!! Yes it is different than your others but it is an incredible right that kept me into the poem with anticipation and excitement.. I really loved this and really enjoyed reading this amazing adventure Well done!!
.........hugs Cathy

Comment By: FreeSteve on September 30, 2008 08:16:42 AM Report
I enjoyed your poem and the journey you take the read on. 




 


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