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Author Name: Premiumskipinpin 23 Comments
Date Added: July 30, 2008 00:07:17 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Grieving & Loss Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
FORTNIGHT FLIGHT
                                      

      Meandering in dreams,                       
his pores sensing, mystified,
the absence of warmth.
In loves comfort she sleeps,
a soul lurks, hesitant.
Indifferent he dreams.

Cautiously awakened
by a hasty heart's breath,
unaware she has departed,
he scans the darkness.
Back to colors he dreams.

At the outset of dawn,
gaudily sleeping, as usual,
for her fingered-lips he longs,
but her ticklish awake left.
Alone to dream now,
his wrinkled eyes wept.

Crystal tears of shattered sadness
fade silently to a smile,
seeping into pillow cases she made.
He poised her body up gently,
with love, he stroked her hair.

A fortnight ago he whispered,
I missed my fateful flight.
Lifes not fair you often said,
now Im left devoid of love,
to drag it on alone.
How I wish it were I instead"

"My turn to fetch your breakfast to bed"

Author's Notes:
There are short lived marriages and there are long lived marriages. Both of my Grandparents sang  and waltz at their 60 th wedding anniversary.This is one I wrote  after  Grandmother passed away. I remember Grandfather and the times he would stroke my hair while I slept or so he thought.
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'FORTNIGHT FLIGHT' Copyright © Raymond Pinsonneault
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeLubaina on March 7, 2009 12:53:00 PM Report
Wonderful poetry.......The form fits the intent of the effort.............

Cograts for the well deserved Award

Please take time to read my poetry and share your valuable comments.

take care.

Lubaina.


 

Comment By: FreeJanice Herzog on October 22, 2008 12:39:27 PM Report
Dear Raymond:  It took me awhile to read this one.  So sorry.  Beautifully done.  Much Love, Janjan xoxo
Comment By: FreeCourtney Lynn on October 10, 2008 01:10:58 PM Report
Thank you. This is sooo amazing. When you put this on Saying Goodbye I couldn't help but read it. I was reading this and I remembered some of the dreams I've had since Lu passed. This reminded me of one.

Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on October 6, 2008 07:23:11 PM Report
Did she once tickle his lips with her fingers to wake him? I read this part a few times and still am not sure if I'm understanding it correctly. I'm sure he sensed her passing even before he was fully awake. I thought this "awareness" is what you were striving to portray in the first two verses.

 

"seeping into the pillow cases she made"...lovely intimate detail. (wow) There is a feeling of denial in these verses...him not willing to accept she has passed away. Death is overwhelming at any time but to lose a partner of many years must be near unbearable and do strange things to the psyche. This is what makes this poem so powerful...the way he poised her body up and stroked her hair, as if in doing so she was still sharing life with him. The closing line was the hammer and drove the point home. This was most satisfying to read as a fellow artist Raymond...although it feels as if my heart is in a vice. Congratulations on the award...I see you came by it honestly. =)) 

 

~Barbara~  

Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on October 4, 2008 02:21:20 PM Report
a very deserving winner of an award.

Ali x

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on September 26, 2008 04:00:55 PM Report
Raymond,
I see you received an Award for this Masterpiece
it warms my heart with this poem your words so softly spoken...every line..*****
Hugs ~ She Whispers

Comment By: FreeMoonStar on September 21, 2008 05:05:33 PM Report
Hello, Raymond;

 

A poem is something that when first read, one will see it the way their minds eye looks upon the words.. With yours, they were wonderful and rich with wisdom of life. To find such love is a true gift.. many have searched till the end of time and still it evades.. But this love, these words of sadness, longing, yet deep love, filled my soul with treasures I shall hold forever...

 

This, by far, is one of the best poems I have had the pleasure to read in a very long time.... I hope you do not mind if I make it my favorite? Just to go back and read, to know there is such love out there...    

For this one, I am not ashamed to say I have felt the tears fall, and I'm sure will always, as I read your beautiful poem, again...

 

Congratulations on winning!!! You did so deserve it!! 

 

~MoonStar~  

Comment By: FreeMoonStar on September 21, 2008 04:49:49 PM Report

Comment By: Freenoah count on September 20, 2008 12:15:54 PM Report
I think it fair to say that you could add "accomplished poet", to your "about me" section.
Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on September 19, 2008 05:00:22 AM Report
What a terrific piece Raymond. Very touching indeed. Congrats, Joe
Comment By: FreeCindy Bendel on September 15, 2008 09:08:47 PM Report
What a lovely, touching poem. My mother recently passed away, leaving my father alone after 55 years of marriage. My parents remained very much in love all their lives. He visits her grave almost everyday and many times will say he wishes he was the first to go.

Beautifully written Ray. Congratulations on receiving this well deserved award.

~Cindy

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on September 15, 2008 06:08:11 PM Report
Raymond:  this is an excellent heart-felt write and so deserving of the Feature PoemAward.

Please continue the incredible writes.

 

Lady Dragonwyck

Comment By: FreeMoon Fairy on September 15, 2008 08:49:34 AM Report
Bittersweet write and worthy of an award, well written.
Congratulations!
~Tracie

Comment By: FreeCathy on September 15, 2008 08:02:48 AM Report
Congratulations on this well deserved award BRAVO!!!!!!!!! you did it
...........Cathy

Comment By: Premiumjohn j. carey on September 8, 2008 06:36:23 AM Report
ray, great write  and welcome to this great site.my wife and I will be married 30 yrs next week and this truly touched me. john
Comment By: FreeQuiltingLady on September 6, 2008 01:09:41 AM Report
I could feel real grief for a lifelong love.  Oh, to be the one left behind is soul wrenching.

Beautiful.

Patty

Comment By: PremiumDavid Turner on September 5, 2008 11:53:07 AM Report

A very poignant piece Raymond. It is one of the great cruelties of life that a every couple who have spent a lifetime together must face the agony of that final partin, neither knowing whether to wish that the other go first or that they should be selected as the one to endure the pain of going on alone. Often in such cases the survivor lives just a few short months before joining their loved one.


 


Warm Wishes


 


David


Comment By: FreeHenry M. on September 3, 2008 05:07:08 PM Report
This is absolutely one of the best poems I have ever read! It is so sad, yet you can feel love through the sadness. Excellent work Raymond, just excellent!!   Henry
Comment By: FreeSteve on September 1, 2008 07:00:42 PM Report

A wonderful poem with very real emotions.  As a young man I was present when my grandparents celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary and years later with a family of my own I was present when my parents celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary.


Comment By: FreeWide Awake on August 31, 2008 11:58:53 AM Report
I enjoyed this piece very much Raymond. :o)

Heartfelt, personal and sentimental.

A pleasant subtlety to it...and just enough obscurity to be labelled "clever poetry" :o)

A pleasure to read!

Pamela

Comment By: FreeCheryl Greenwell on August 26, 2008 09:37:20 AM Report
Very in touch .....great poem..........C
Comment By: FreeCathy on August 23, 2008 04:07:22 PM Report
Crystal tears of chattered sadness
fade silently to a smile,
seeping into pillow cases she made.
He poised her body up gently,
with love, he stroked her hair.

I absolutely love this part just breathtaking.. A beautiful poem all in all love every word of it...Excellent penning here just perfect
..........Cathy


Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on July 30, 2008 06:18:58 AM Report
Ramond,
 First of all let me Welcome you to our Site!!
 You will enjoy it here  there are lots of awesome writers and great .friends
This poem is beautiful written with such sadness this part brought tears to my eyes...((
A fortnight ago he whispered,
I missed my fateful flight.
Lifes not fair you often said,
now Im left devoid of love,
to drag it on alone.
How I wish it were I instead"

"My turn to fetch your breakfast to bed"


~ She Whispers





 


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