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Author Name: FreeaRomnceHasFallen 2 Comments
Date Added: July 25, 2008 05:07:39 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Mystery/Suspense Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Cry of the Phoenix

What more can I say?
What more can I do?
Hit the ground harder everyday
I've nowhere left to turn to
Depending on this to lift me higher
agonised tears lay waste to this fire
That used to burn...
ever so bright...

Why stand up and fight?
Just another day
Just another failure
Just another way
to say goodbye...
to this life I've known
The emptiness has grown...
Bottom edging in close by ticking hour
Body has lost all of it's power
Take it in, pass it out
wonder what all the chaos is about...
...but it's only you...
you alone...

shape your own life by the decisions you make
shape your own life by every hit you take
throw it away, wash it down
shoot it in, forget the world
you're in your own heaven
but one man's heaven is another man's hell...

 

Awaken
To rising sound
head is throbbing...
squinting eyes watch shadows fly obstructing painful light
Screaming
Intensifies the fog
screeching tires, see fading lights pierce the night

all her things are gone
only memento left is a note
knowing you've been so wrong
back to the only way with which you know how to cope...

...she'll come back to me
she can't keep me in this misery
left me with half a hope
and half a case
the answer's cold
and it hides behind the shining door
what do i do?
i can't take this anymore...

 

Vacation of hell is finally done
Back to daily grind
Six long weeks of hindered though
Still the answer I can't find
Destined to be miserable and lonely
and knowing she was the only...
one...
and i went and BLEEP it all up, once again...
change is near...
should i fear?

off I go
to the quitter's lair
to rid myself of dependence and despair
take it away
the crutch that's weakening by the day
taken aback by fear, but i will no longer pay
I refuse
to be another slave to the master
Controlling my thoughts
Controlling my life...
I refuse
To be led astray
Pushing me closer
To the flame
and pulling me from the truth
Here i take the plunge...

 

CONGRATULATIONS!
is this what you wanted?
your program can burn in hell!
i need no help, no one to rely on
your false sympathy obvious as your greed
so give back the crutch!
I'll lean a little too hard!
throw ice in my path life, i'll break it and jump right in!

...the aura...
...the echo...
building with time
this again... but it feels so right
one more, no less
hand goes under
sinking deeper
no lifeguard
i chased him away
i wanted this fate
now it's mine
consummation
almost mine
a hand...
...a rescue?
i killed the help...
where am i...?

 

Hey life, are you listening?
On my own now!
humbled by your haunting test
that i managed to pass somehow...
take this crutch once more
burn it with my other assorted demons
time is on my side...
in nostalgia i no longer confide...

Life is great, i feel so fine
this fun has got me going out of my mind
Night on the town and days in the bed
finally waking up without a pain in my head
feel so alive, more than i've ever been
never going back to that BLEEP life again
...
that life...
haunting familiar as i walk out my door...
gone from looking at the sky to gazing at the floor...
just another flashback...
a few wouldn't hurt...
five...
six...
where am i?


Swing the gavel down
send me back to the quitter's lair
not on my own this time
institutionalise me...
i feel so alone
one night, one mistake...
is this a sign
of better times?
or an everlasting omen that will haunt me
evermore
week flies by
still i try
to make this all feel right
another week gone
another week too long

they laugh at me...
i cry for help...
but no one hears...
they outcast me
i stand alone
here comes the recurring fear...
i need this crutch oh so much!
this pain is not worth this hell!
two weeks and i'll be tolling my own bell!
can you hear me life?
i don't want this!
taken aback...
by the feeling of the walls...


one... two...
oh, hi life!
three, four...
how are you fear?
this is paranoia and shame
five... six... take it down...
I trust you've met agony and pain
I know why you're here
but i don't care
voices don't laugh at me
voices don't haunt me
voices are my friend...
they signify the end
of my sanity and pain...
seven... eight... take it down...

but who needs sanity?
i have bottles, one big, one small
the contents of both dwindling with time
this makes me unique...
placidity has reached it's peak...
rough waters cease with chill and calm
although the agony rages on...
nine... ten... take it down...
flashback...

i was clean
life was great!
i did it on my own!
never felt alone!
why is that such an impossibility now?
stop this!
i don't want to die...
this may be a lie...
...
but... i don't want to find out...
...it's too late...

 

...well, at least he can lead by example now...

i lay in repose
but no one knows
i see them
i hear them
crying for me
their remorse i see... again...
the eternal book adds another page
as i lay at rest on the failure's stage
you win death
life takes another loss
the game i promised i'd never lose
the trust i vowed to never lose
i hear them
and their regrets for me
just a martyr of a man gone wrong
they see
just another lost case who strayed a bit too far
they finally hear
another cry left unanswered
they cry
another tear shed for the hopeless future
they lose
another hope for a better life
gone...
with my pain...
and all i can do is hope...
hope the others hear my haunting voice
the moment they make a drastic choice
for now i can see...
i was never meant to be...

Author's Notes:
Drunk/drug addict looking back on life.
Report Offensive Poem.

'Cry of the Phoenix' Copyright © John Danz Jr.
Copyright is property of the above author or group. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly prohibited.
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on July 25, 2008 08:32:46 AM Report
Another well written story of words... We always enjoy new writers... Thank you..
~ She Whispers

Comment By: FreeNichole on July 25, 2008 05:40:00 AM Report
I knew this was about an addict!! :D This is my favorite by far.




 


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