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Author Name: FreeLost Child 9 Comments
Date Added: November 21, 2008 14:11:57 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Depression Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Grey Clay

Suffering in the sunlight

Give me the night

Give me clouds and rain

Itís much easier to deal with pain

When the rest of world is drenched in the same thing

So annoying when the rest of the world sings

Every note amplifies the sting

Choke the birds, Erase the colors

No reason to even bother

Make it all black and white

So we can all see whoís right

Whoís good and whoís vicious

So for once it would matter what was your soulís likeness

But no one is one or the other, itís all grey

This is even better so we can all fade

Into the background and be the same thing

No discrimination, no hate just fuzzy, unexplainable pain

But I dry my green eyes and erase this thought pathway

Not even on my worst enemy would I wish this plague

I just want one good day

One happy memory to hold on to forever and always

But depression makes it all one clump of grey clay

 

 

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Comments:
Comment By: FreeDanniy. on June 22, 2010 05:43:19 AM Report
I am impressed. Favorited.
I felt just like this at a time. 
Grey Clay is a beautiful combination of words on par with Cellar Door in my opinion.

The first thing I thought of when I read the title was 'Our World is Grey', a song by the band As Cities Burn. It actually kind of share a similar theme, you should check it out some time.

If you ever feel the need to talk someone go ahead and send me a message or something.

Comment By: FreeFilthy on August 8, 2009 07:03:56 PM Report
I'll go along with Davids comment. Really good write Rachel.
Comment By: FreeMaynard on March 2, 2009 12:41:05 AM Report
incredible! i really like the lines  'its much easier to deal with the pain, when the rest of the world is drenched in the same thing' the raw emotion you've implanted within this piece is almost overwhelming. i really enjoyed feeling moved.
-Maynard

Comment By: FreeBrittany Rainess on December 20, 2008 12:43:35 AM Report
i like the idea of suffering in the sunlight. it's a great theme. my favorite line is choke the birds, erase the colors, no reason to even bother. you really know how to express the destruction of happiness in an interesting symbolic way! it reminds me of a quote that my principal says "if it's grey, stay away" happiness and color is the definition of life, without it we would be grey and lifeless. it's not something you want, but it's something you can get used to and addicted too. after all, everything matches with grey.
Comment By: FreeLance Binkley on December 12, 2008 03:17:40 PM Report
Very heartfelt.
Comment By: PremiumDavid Turner on November 22, 2008 07:13:33 PM Report
Some great lines here :-

 

Itís much easier to deal with pain

When the rest of world is drenched in the same thing

 

David

Comment By: FreeA.P. on July 23, 2008 06:36:46 PM Report
i like the way you mixed colours in this...the idea of mixing all the colours usually ends up a drab, gray colour, so visually this really spoke to me. i related the last line to near the beginning: "the rest of the world is drenched in the same thing"...so true sounding, a great, clear image that speaks volumes.  also the idea of black versus white was very concrete...it seems we are always on sides and that is what makes all this pain at times...and then you popped the poem with the mention of "green eyes", i thought that was a genious way to bring a sense of hope into this poem, erasing the tears and the bad thoughts, bringing some colour...
not sure if i'm reading it in the right way but that is the way this piece spoke to me and i enjoyed it!
take care.

Comment By: FreeCathy on July 15, 2008 03:46:33 PM Report
Such a depressing poem filled with sadness yet screaming for happiness for sunshine..It is coming grey skies do not live on forever the sun will shine again Excellent write
........hugs Cathy

Comment By: FreeS on July 15, 2008 02:59:53 PM Report
really complex poem rachel, starting out with wanting to embellish in the depression and contemplating how maybe if everything was equal it would be better, but i think ur maturity comes through in the end when you realize that thats not what you really want even for your enemies or yourself

def one of the best poems i ve read on here in a while, keep writing and growing your message is getting more hopeful

<3 - shoaib





 


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