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Author Name: FreeAtrophiedRibbons 6 Comments
Date Added: July 02, 2008 12:07:07 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Rhyming
Category: General Add To Favorites | Text Only
Bayonet In The Back
With bitter rage alight in your gaze you send me into suicide
Against the hordes and the brigades of enemies on the rise
A sacrifice to quench your thirst, a man righteous, but a guise
A jeer, a grin, an evil sneer, deaf to reason, preaching lies

The soldiers say, that you made your way, by war and by tank
But I and others know that you exchanged dollars for your rank
And now we're dying, wives and children crying, and who have we to thank?
The General, parading, while our lives are fading, massacred at our left flank

And yet I breathe still, surviving on sheer will
By means of masking wounds and wounding to kill
I tread salvation on the wake of one small lie
Oh, yes, General, I am coming home. alive.

Author's Notes:
My coded lengths beneath their cloaks
With somber stains on hands of red
As I lay dying through the smoke
Your men and medics fled

You're a coward. Don't think that I've forgotten.
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Comment By: PremiumEric Siedzikowski on August 17, 2009 11:03:38 AM Report
good poem
Comment By: FreeJami Renae on April 14, 2009 06:47:32 AM Report
Great write.
I really liked it

Comment By: FreeA.P. on July 4, 2008 07:57:48 PM Report
this has some great use of wording/phrasing, i especially liked "masking wounds and wounding to kill", using the same word seemed to sort of thrust this line forward..if that makes any sense...
you also did a great job of using rhymes, even four lines of one rhyme and it flowed naturally without any "cheesiness" that sometimes happens with excessive rhyming...i really enjoyed this.

Comment By: FreeGraham Jones on July 4, 2008 08:53:57 AM Report
Pure excellence in rhyme rhythm and content, a true pleasure to read.
Comment By: FreeCathy on July 2, 2008 03:27:07 PM Report
WOW this is so excellent your a wonderful poet you got me interested and caught me up into the poem to keep me there till the end and I LOVED IT Excellent job

Comment By: FreeRoger Bacon on July 2, 2008 02:14:13 PM Report


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