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Author Name: Freemaybememories 6 Comments
Date Added: September 19, 2007 22:09:41 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Broken Hearts Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
the realest love i've ever had

I begged you to stay: response no way, you have to go away and I needed to pay for my mistakes

Wait; before you go I want to let you know I admit my mistakes; Iím sorry for everyone one I made

No, itís not good enough to know you care, that youíll always be there, sorry if Iím acting unfair

I love you but I need to go she said and I was scared, afraid of living a life unloved and unaware

 

I crumbled and panicked and in my stress I forgot to breathe, I bled so much I forgot what it was to bleed, sheís

Fucking something Iíve grown to need, grown into to something I never thought I could believe

But she wants proof of me? I donít know what she needs because all I can give is me, it seems

That all I know is out into the streams and all my dreams have become the nightmares you canít see

 

I feel like Iím always in the position of bending so you donít have to; saying sorry but you donít have to

I canít even explain it because youíll never see it, your own actions youíre fucking oblivious to them

Still I fucking miss you so much I just want to kiss you so much, feel the forgiveness in the softness of your touch

Iíve havenít even been acting so tough, Iíve grown up but not enough, Iíll never grow to be ok without your love

 

Thereís  only so much I can take, Iím already fucking broken and youíve watched me fucking break

For goodness sake, I know what you want and I know what you I need just need for you to see the same things

I donít think we can ever be, because I donít know if you really want to be happy with ME

If you did you would see how I am dying and how you wouldnít put me through hell just to see

 

You say you need months to heal and if canít do it then I canít do it

You want me to go ahead give me no guarantees and then expect me to prove shit

Weíll you told me what you could and couldnít do well hereís what I canít do

I canít spend another second feeling like I care and you donít, because I need you to want to

 

Why do I have to fight for you if you donít want me to fight for you?  

You act like all I need to do is prove shit to you because youíre already so proven and true

But hereís the truth, I really donít have any reason to put any trust into you

You act like if you forgive me then everything will be beautiful, why canít you fight for me like Iíd fight for you?

 

You say you need months but I canít wait, I am moving on

Donít act like I never cared when itís been half a year and after begging you, I have to move on

Because you will then know how it feels to say I love you but I canít go on

Because Itíll be me saying it to you, making you feel like how Iíve felt all along

 

And you will act like you knew I wouldnít wait for you because I donít really love you

But you wonít realize that in the months Iíve been loving you and putting no one above you

You left me alone uncaring and unloving, and Iíve been needing it while constantly fearing

I fear when you come back to me I wonít be able to come back to you, because thereís no more tearing

 

Itís now or never because if you cared, you wouldnít make me wait forever

And the longer you wait the more I know you wonít be able to take and the more I feel itís fake

You act like youíre so broken but itís you thatís keeping space, itís you thatís so fucking afraid

Donít act like I donít know what it is to love and then break and fill every seep with sadness

Iím going blind with madness, I hope you donít regret knowing you had me or wishing you still had this

Just donít look back because maybe I wonít come back but still you can wish

 

But once Iím gone Iím dead, and thereís no coming back from death like how all fallen souls vanish

Author's Notes:
read it and you will know
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeRachel on June 11, 2008 06:26:45 PM Report
i absolutly understand this feeling, been there, done that. and you expressed it so beautifully, much better than i ever could.
Comment By: FreeSilkinTears on November 27, 2007 04:22:32 PM Report
Waiting for love to be returned is heartbreaking. Sometimes moving on is the best thing to do.
Helen

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on November 21, 2007 09:38:28 AM Report
Reading this it reminded me  just how much we all get sohurt..just wanting to be loved our way!! Such a heart moving poem..wishing you some happiness there are a lot of good woman out there she will find you my friend
~ She Whispers

Comment By: FreeGlata on October 12, 2007 11:20:58 AM Report
Hey hon...

I've read this through and felt the true pain and misery...but also the determination that you've injected at the end of the write. Stand strong and move on...There's someone out there that will be more than happy to cherish and love you the way you deserve. Love is a two-way street and it takes both people trying. She should never expect you to just constantly be the only one working to make amends...

I wish you all the best and give me a holler if you need to vent.

Hugs...

Glata

Comment By: FreeHannah Mae on September 22, 2007 08:29:48 PM Report
I have a couple of friends dealing with this. It's tough to go through and almost as tough to watch

~Shanna

Comment By: Freeb doneff on September 20, 2007 07:04:56 AM Report
An ode of pure sadness Shoaib. Speaks the way many of us would when put to this kind of test.
Hope it is fiction only....
Happy Thoughts,
b





 


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