Hey, you won't believe what I saw next door!
A guy so hot he would melt the floor!
Eyes so brown you could fall right in,
I tell ya, sis, with him I could sin!
I saw him first, so don't even dare!
He's got great looks and dark brown hair!
Tall and built, oh, he is my dream,
He's hot enough to make me steam!
"Now listen here, you Skanky Brat.
Your' threats, I will have none of that!
Like it matters that you saw him first?
Now go to your' trough, and quench your' thirst!
One look at me and he will drool,
for I am better looking than you.
So bring it on, dear sister of mine,
I'll win his heart, you little Swine"!
I'd go my trough, but you beat me there,
But you need to stop mopping with your hair!
Back off, you louse, you stand no chance,
My beauty will stun him with just one glance!
He smiled at me and even winked,
I'm sure he'd think you really stink!
The flies wear gas masks 'round your head,
One little whiff and he'd fall dead!
"You're just jealous, you little Tramp.
I'd mail you to China, if I had a stamp!
Now back off missy, you're playing with fire.
I never knew you were such a great liar.
Maybe you saw him before I did,
but that doesn't mean you will be his.
Now shut your' mouth, your' breath is gross!
And I saw you last night, picking your' nose".
Well, maybe I WAS picking my nose,
But lasts night I saw you sucking your toes!
Your teeth are green, the ones that are there,
And toe-jam to boot, mixed with a little hair!
A kiss from you and he'd never live,
The kiss of death is what you'd give.
Your ear-wax sculpture there in your room,
Would cause him out the door to zoom!
"You're grasping at straws, dear sister of mine.
I wasn't even home, at all last night!
You wish your' toes would reach your' mouth,
but your' blubber would get in the way, you Cow!
You're just jealous, cause I'm so much thinner.
When he sees me, I'll be the winner.
He'll never give you the time of day.
At least my hair hasn't all turned gray"!
My blubber, dear, means I have shape,
O'er which his hands he can take.
Your ribs would poke right through his skin,
I'd rather be plump than to be thin!
His bright brown eyes will glow for me,
When he compares us, you will see!
My hair shines bright because it's clean,
But weeks since shampoo yours has seen!
"Oh you have a shape, that is for sure,
but so does Mount Everest, my dear!
Are "Thunder Thighs" one or two words?
Oh, your' Mustache needs waxed, haven't you heard?
My hair IS clean, you envious Wretch!
It's not my fault that yours' has a stench.
You'll only get him if you offer a bribe.
Now get on your' Broom, and go for a ride"!
Your jealousy's plain for all to see,
You only WISH to look as good as me!
My broom I'd use, but you scared it away,
When it saw you in the light of day!
That brown eyed man would run in fright,
If he sees you in a clear light.
Your pimples look like a boiling brew,
No WAY that guy could fall for you!
"You just wish that this all were true!
Back off little sister, I'm warning you.
This Hunk won't give you the time of day,
Now make like a Snail, and crawl away!
I will say this, you have some nerve.
It's not my fault you smell like a Turd!
He'll only want you, in your' dreams.
You know all the guys, always choose me".
I'll crawl away just like a snail,
But YOU'RE the one that will leave a trail!
He's sure not blind, he's fairly smart,
He'll be certain you smell like a fart!
Let's try and see just what he'll do,
If we stand before him, just us two.
I know that he won't look your way,
For my rounded beauty will hold sway!
"You are very cruel, you little Twit!
You really think it's you he'd pick?
That's like choosing Hamburger over a Steak.
Care to bet on which one of us he'll take?
Put your' money where your' enormous mouth is.
You'll be bankrupt for sure, when I become his!
Now here is a brand new, crying towel.
You're going to need it, you flea-wridden Sow"!
Oh, I have fleas, you mangy cat?
Where do you think I GOT them at!
They jumped from you, you rotten witch,
Too lazy to scratch even when you itch!
Oh, wait! He's standing in his door,
I wonder who he's looking for??
Jilly, he's not even spoken to me yet.
But he already makes my front teeth sweat!
"You better sit down, I've some very bad news.
I saw him standing on his front porch too.
But things are not what they seem to be.
I caught him kissing this dude named Steve!
It's just our luck, that he doesn't like girls.
But don't let that dampen your' boring world.
I wonder where he met his boyfriend?
To be honest with you, I am envious"!
Such a waste of prime manhood,
To have won him would have been so good.
Hey, look, that man there in that truck,
Steve, I guess, and he's hot, just our luck!
Why us, ole sister, why'd this happen to us?
Oh, dang, now they're hugging, that will cause quite a fuss.
Back to the drawing board to see what we can start,
But next time we're fighting, please...don't smell like a fart!