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Author Name: ModeratorJillian Alexis 9 Comments
Date Added: September 13, 2007 16:09:18 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Humor Add To Favorites | Text Only
Hey,  you won't believe what I saw next door!
A guy so hot he would melt the floor!
Eyes so brown you could fall right in,
I tell ya, sis, with him I could sin!
I saw him first, so don't even dare!
He's got great looks and dark brown hair!
Tall and built, oh, he is my dream,
He's hot enough to make me steam!
"Now listen here, you Skanky Brat.
Your' threats, I will have none of that!
Like it matters that you saw him first?
Now go to your' trough, and quench your' thirst!
One look at me and he will drool,
for I am better looking than you.
So bring it on, dear sister of mine,
I'll win his heart, you little Swine"!
I'd go my trough, but you  beat me there,
But you need  to stop mopping with your hair!
Back off, you louse, you stand no chance,
My beauty will stun him with just one  glance!
He smiled at me and even winked,
I'm sure he'd think you really stink!
The flies wear gas masks 'round your head,
One little whiff and  he'd fall dead!
"You're just jealous, you little Tramp.
I'd mail you to China, if I had a stamp!
Now back off missy, you're playing with fire.
I never knew you were such a great liar.
Maybe you saw him before I did,
but that doesn't mean you will be his.
Now shut your' mouth, your' breath is gross!
And I saw you last night, picking your' nose".
Well, maybe I WAS picking my nose,
But lasts night I saw you sucking your toes!
Your teeth are green, the ones that are there,
And toe-jam to boot, mixed with a little hair!
A kiss from you and he'd never live,
The kiss of death is what you'd give.
Your ear-wax sculpture there in your room,
Would cause him out the door to zoom!
"You're grasping at straws, dear sister of mine.
I wasn't even home, at all last night!
You wish your' toes would reach your' mouth,
but your' blubber would get in the way, you Cow!
You're just jealous, cause I'm so much thinner.
When he sees me, I'll be the winner.
He'll never give you the time of day.
At least my hair hasn't all turned gray"!
My blubber, dear, means I have shape,
O'er which his hands he can take.
Your ribs would  poke right through his skin,
I'd rather be plump than to be thin!
His bright brown eyes will glow for me,
When he compares us, you will see!
My hair shines bright because it's  clean,
But weeks since shampoo yours has seen!
"Oh you have a shape, that is for sure,
but so does Mount Everest,  my dear!
Are "Thunder Thighs" one or two words?
Oh, your' Mustache needs waxed, haven't you heard?
My hair IS clean, you envious Wretch!
It's not my fault that yours' has a stench.
You'll only get him if you offer a bribe.
Now get on your' Broom, and go for a ride"!
Your jealousy's plain for all to see,
You only WISH to look as good as me!
My broom I'd use, but you scared it away,
When it saw you in the light of day!
That brown eyed man would run in fright,
If he sees you in a clear light.
Your pimples look like a boiling brew,
No WAY  that guy could fall for you!
"You just wish that this all were true!
Back off little sister, I'm warning you.
This Hunk won't give you the time of day,
Now make like a Snail, and crawl away!
I will say this, you have some nerve.
It's not my fault you smell like a Turd!
He'll only want you, in your' dreams.
You know all the guys, always choose me".
I'll crawl  away just like a snail,
But YOU'RE the one that will leave a trail!
He's sure not blind, he's fairly smart,
He'll be certain you smell like a fart!
Let's try and see just what he'll do,
If we stand before him, just us two.
I know that he won't look your way,
For my rounded beauty will hold sway!
"You are very cruel, you little Twit!
You really think it's you he'd pick?
That's like choosing Hamburger over a Steak.
Care to bet on which one of us he'll take?
Put your' money where your' enormous mouth is.
You'll be bankrupt for sure, when I become his!
Now here is a brand new, crying towel.
You're going to need it, you flea-wridden Sow"!
Oh, I have fleas, you mangy cat?
Where do you think  I GOT them at!
They jumped from you, you rotten witch,
Too lazy to scratch even when you  itch!
Oh, wait! He's standing in his door,
I wonder who he's looking for??
Jilly, he's not even spoken to me yet.
But he already makes my front teeth sweat!
"You better sit down, I've some very bad news.
I saw him standing on his front porch too.
But things are not what they seem to be.
I caught him kissing this dude named Steve!
It's just our luck, that he doesn't like girls.
But don't let that dampen your' boring world.
I wonder where he met his boyfriend?
To be honest with you, I am envious"!
Such a waste of prime manhood,
To have won him would have been so good.
Hey, look, that man there in  that truck,
Steve, I  guess, and he's hot, just our luck!
Why us, ole sister, why'd this happen to us?
Oh,  dang,  now they're hugging, that will cause quite a fuss.
Back  to the drawing board to see what we can start,
But next time we're fighting, please...don't smell like a fart!
Author's Notes:
Thank you Glata, for writing this with me. I had so much fun with this. You are such a great sport...Hugz...Jillian
Glata's words are in bold type. Mine are the ones in regular type.
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Comment By: Freejamieson steele on October 11, 2010 02:32:48 AM Report
Glata plus Jillian,

  It's natural for a woman to be attracted to a man.

It's unnatural for the attraction to be another man.

So why the fuss. Boom or Bust! Why did boom win?

A bit baudy I know. But that's the why things go.


All the best,

without the twist,

a natural friend




Comment By: FreeMichelle on March 23, 2009 07:48:16 PM Report
Well done! So funny :) My sister and I can relate,



Comment By: FreeHannah Mae on November 16, 2007 01:05:30 AM Report
Ok, you two need a time out!! Go sit in the
Comment By: FreeFLETCHER on October 17, 2007 03:15:06 PM Report
Wonderful Co-write!
Comment By: Premiumlionheart on September 14, 2007 10:41:53 PM Report
Holy Cow !!!...or maybe I should say "Cows". LOL !

You kids just go on and on and...

Now, as your big brother, I demand that you girls break it off

or I'll throw a bucket of water on ya !  :o(

Lol !

This was funny y'all.

Your big ol' brother




Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on September 14, 2007 01:54:00 PM Report
Now  Girls...Well in life we learn many things looks some times are deceiving!! Good looks can be  warning....
GReat little story very funny and the langage you two speak just makes the story!! HUgs to you both.. ~ She Whispers

Comment By: FreeKaren Marrah on September 14, 2007 10:08:31 AM Report
You two girls are so silly, but I LOVED reading this.....Thanks for giving me a good laugh today. I needed it!!



Comment By: FreeMary on September 13, 2007 09:23:43 PM Report
wwo what a battle lmao i only got through half of it because the rhyming kept getting me tongue tied lol
Comment By: FreeHenry M. on September 13, 2007 08:27:53 PM Report
LOL, well I think you two have come up with a real winner here!I have to say that the exchanges between you "Sisters" is priceless!   Henry


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