I married a very hairy lady when I got drunk on scotch.
I nearly died of a heart attack when I learned that I married a sasquatch.
When we kiss, I get a mouthful of hair.
It's like making love to Chewbacca and it's not fair.
She hasn't bathed in months and she smells like piss.
It's too much to take, I can't stand this.
When I think about what our kids will look like, it makes me worry.
Does anyone know a good lawyer? I want to get a divorce in a hurry.