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Author Name: FreeSilkintears 8 Comments
Date Added: January 15, 2007 22:01:01 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Abuse Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
My Father
 
I'm sitting here just thinking about my childhood days.
Sometimes wishing things had been many different ways.
All the sad memories sitting in the corners of my mind.
My childhood was not pleasant and good memories hard to find.
 
Many times the belt I felt stinging across my back.
Love and hugs my mind does not see as I flashback.
I always tried to be very good yet never could I please.
Your expectations were very high no room for mercies.
 
Disipline should never be something that brings pain.
from this there is nothing learned and nothing to gain.
The belt was something always used even when I thought I was being good.
so therfore many times as I hurt, I never understood.
 
I never held this against you, even though I never knew
the story of your childhood what you had suffered through.
 
Then one day you told me, the story of your life.
How your father abandend you, how he left your mother, his wife.
You couldn't really remember since you were only two.
Eyes now watered, as you continued to tell me what you had been through.
 
A stranger entered into your life, your father he became.
he never loved you as he should, since you did not bear his name.
There was no love or kindness this you did not see.
This new father that you gained, treated you quite coldly.
 
School was something not for you since work had to be done.
You became the farmhand as you were the stepson.
You talked about how you were very young the things you had to do.
Such a young boy you were, how there was no-one there for you.
 
You told me how at nine years old you had to watch the sheep.
How you woke up very early, how in the pasture you fell asleep.
This made your father angy and he beat you half to death.
He tore your skin and as you lay and bled, this you thought would be your last breath.
 
Your mother tried to protect you,  then she would feel his harsh hand.
and as you told your story, I slowly began to understand.
Your world was harsh and very cruel, so much hurt, a childhood lost .
As I listened, I heard how this was a very painful cost.
 
Listening so intensely, my heart now bled for you.
I understood what you had done was the best that you could do.
Your way of disciplining us was mild in comparison to your's.
You did the best that you knew how your pain was now your curse.
 
I started to see another man much better than you should have been.
What you went through, your torturous past, how you were able to find any love within.
I saw your kind heart and all your pain, how loving you truly are.
I admire your streangh, your true desire to become a better father than him by far.
 
You did the best you ever could, I truly understand.
You never saw how much pain you caused with the way you played your hand.
I have never had a conversation, or told you of my pain.
I don't think there's a reason, if there is nothing to gain.
 
I've forgiven you my father, there's no reason to go back
to painful moments in our lives that you will only see as an attack.
You tried your very best, that I know for sure.
So even though you belted us for this there is no cure.
 
You were never heartless, or cruel, as your father had been.
You've gone through much pain, you're definatly not thin skinned.
You worked real hard to pay the bills, your wife, you took good care.
you loved us in the way you could, so there's no point talking about what's fair 
 
So now your 80, many years have passed, I have love for you.
Through understanding who you are, I respect you.
Yes I think if you knew how, you surely would have done much better.
Now I'm very pleased to know that what you wanted most was to be a great father.
Author's Notes:
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'My Father' Copyright © SilkinTears
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeMujtaba H Zaidi on August 21, 2009 03:37:12 AM Report
It is really difficult to live without father's love and affection, so parents must pay devotion to their children.....; beautiful poem!
Comment By: FreeHelen on July 18, 2007 06:59:09 PM Report
It's awesome that you and your Father got to talk about this. Openness is the only thing that makes it possible to understand, or at least to start, understanding others... My parents aren't perfect, (neither am I of course!). I used to struggle with some things they do and say, but when I think of their childhoods, their backgrounds, I realise that this helps me understand them better and love them the way they are... Just like they, even though I've caused them some trouble, and have never been the perfect daughter I so want to be, - they still love me the way I am! ;-)
Comment By: PremiumBlake Hightdudis on February 21, 2007 12:50:20 PM Report
Talk about a sad, write, I sure feel your pain and you love in this. you did

a masterful job on this, but I sure you cried through the whole thing.

Comment By: FreeAndy on January 20, 2007 03:44:25 PM Report
Helen lovely write.  Not the belt but how you began to forgive.  Keep writing!  Nicely done 
Comment By: FreeKaren Marrah on January 18, 2007 04:19:03 PM Report
Helen, this certainly did bring on the tears for me as well. I feel your heart within each line....It is so wonderful when we are able to understand, and in turn it can help us to forgive....

 

Karen

Comment By: PremiumVizualEnsemble on January 18, 2007 12:07:58 PM Report
This surely brings the tears to a steady flow. How sad yet so beautiful.

I love your style of writing, you heart so tenderly placed. This is so touching

dear. A splendid write.

~Penny~

Comment By: FreeLexi on January 18, 2007 10:41:19 AM Report
That really was a great and sad poem.

 Great job!!!!!

Comment By: FreeGlata on January 16, 2007 01:39:01 PM Report
Dear Helen,

Finding forgiveness and understanding in your heart for the treatment that you were dealt as a child shows the woman of character that you are. I had a father that beat me for everything...starved me and many other things that I won't go into detail on...I had to find it in my heart to forgive him, as well, and that's when MY healing began. It took me many years to reach that point, but now we have a decent relationship and can even feel comfortable around one another now. It's a difficult road,but one, I'm sure, that you're very glad you travelled to get to know the real man underneath  all the tough exterior.

Hugs and blessings to you, dear...

Glata





 


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