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Writing Group: She Whispers & Richard M 22 Comments
Date Added: September 08, 2006 15:09:34 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Broken Hearts Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
~*~ You Hurt Me ~*~ Co - Write with Richard

"Why did you hurt me?



I ask, in the long shadows of a fall day,
"Why did you hurt me?

You took away your love and my trust,
As suddenly, decisevely, you made your leave.

My heart turned to crumbling red dust

You hurt me.

~*~

Was it ever possible that you loved me,
Was anything you said not a lie?

What did I have to do to keep your love,
what did I have to say to be heard?


To say I'm sorry,
seems to be the hardest word.

~*~

Forget about me now, my darling,
but you'll have dreams you can't ignore.

Put me out of your aching head,
Try to convince yourself, you don't care anymore.

And when you're in your big empty bed,
and you feel my body laying next to yours,

then you'll remember what you said,
suround yourself with the stillness that you dread.


~*~

Try, forget me if you can,
but you'll remember me a long time from now.

The look in my dark eyes and my alluring smile,
Will be there to greet you at times you even didn't try to recall.

A restless wind will blow through your heart,
As with time, from you all your hollow dreams depart.


And in their place will condense tears in your dark eyes,
And they will trickle and fall.

~*~

Today, I wonder if you're sorry for what you've done,
Did you ever miss your special someone?

It seemed like everything changed when I told you,
I'm sorry I shared my, "I love you."

Autumn's painted leaves twist and scatter.
Whispering winds blow all the dying colors away.

Blowing your memory back into yesterday. 

Sorry.




SultryRose's Signatures
midis 4/evening falls.mid loop1

Author's Notes:
Thank you so much ...Richard for your wonderful words and  thoughts into this poem about love and heartaches.. we both know so well...  I think we did a great Co _Write
... Your a Sweetheart ......Hope we do another poem real soon...

Hugs ~ Scarlett   ~ She Whispers
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeSavannah Collins on April 28, 2013 09:46:51 PM Report
A gorgeous and heartfelt write. I really enjoyed the elegance, and flow of the piece, and it was just lovely. Thanks for sharing. -Savannah
Comment By: FreeAlfred Berggren on September 18, 2011 03:43:19 PM Report


A poem that expressed your hurt very well.


Comment By: FreeTim D on March 25, 2011 02:47:59 AM Report


Very sad yet beautifully written.




While I love a lot of the lines in this, have to mention this is my favorite:




Forget about me now, my darling,

but you'll have dreams you can't ignore."




Comment By: FreeCristian Dolon on August 11, 2009 03:58:20 AM Report
Both Rich and Whispers together in a combination of perfection and grace...
And I thought I was good, but I guess more then one might actually make things better.
(^.^)

Well done you two...
Well done indeed.

C.D.

Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on July 7, 2009 04:16:22 PM Report


I really enyoyed this dual effort...there is something about the input from both sexes that give the poem a real feel of sadness and lost love. Well done you two!
Ali x

Comment By: FreeJessica Ruth Myr on June 28, 2009 07:40:39 PM Report
I've been there before, and this goes right to the heart of that feeling.  Beautiful and poignant; it's enough to drive me to tears.  You've managed to evoke the emotion so well.  Wonderful job.

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on June 28, 2009 10:29:09 AM Report
She and Rich:  wonderful co-write.   Glad to see a new Group added.

 

Lady D

Comment By: FreeCindy Bendel on November 8, 2006 02:01:38 PM Report
Excellent expression of heartache....I applaud you both for this deeply poignant write.

~Cindy

Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on October 7, 2006 03:19:19 AM Report
OUCH...this one cuts deep. Unfortunatley, heartache like this is familair to most. Well done you two! =))

 

~Barbara~

Comment By: FreeAngel on September 25, 2006 03:36:42 AM Report
Beautiful write both of you

 

Love Angelxx

Comment By: FreeLubaina on September 12, 2006 03:56:01 PM Report
Nice write.Enjoyed reading.

Lubs.

Comment By: FreeMichael on September 12, 2006 12:58:56 AM Report
A gripping display of raw emotions and love's tragedy! Heartfelt and honest! Michael
Comment By: FreeJoe on September 10, 2006 08:20:16 AM Report
Very nice co write, Love and heartaches. Excellent. Joe
Comment By: FreeJoe Petro on September 9, 2006 06:37:25 PM Report
This is one of the most beautiful poems ever. Such eloquence with such sadness. Bravo to you both. jp
Comment By: FreeCraig David Dawson on September 9, 2006 10:09:31 AM Report
love and life is hard.....and this is good.
Comment By: Freeb doneff on September 9, 2006 08:10:06 AM Report
I liked this...a feeling of doom and gloom, but written well. B.
Comment By: FreeFLETCHER on September 9, 2006 04:04:43 AM Report
You Hurt Me.................it is more a feeling than just words..............Both of you write so well.
When a feeling is derived from your words it truly touches the readers heart.
This write has touched mine! Thanks for sharing this one!
Love to you....................Fletch

Comment By: FreeMichael on September 9, 2006 03:05:51 AM Report
a wonderful write you two...
Comment By: AdminRichardM on September 8, 2006 11:57:19 PM Report
Aw, thank you dear, I'm honored, and so happy to expand into the awesome framework of feeling you'd already created. A pleasure for me! Rich
Comment By: FreeDairine Bennett on September 8, 2006 06:13:25 PM Report
Aww this is really really good. Well done. x x x x

Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on September 8, 2006 04:40:25 PM Report
Wow, Lady She Whispers.......Hurting someone always comes back to the one that did the hurting, and usually even MORESO....
Your work has been quite tearful as of late, India.....I hope the mood is not personal, and only springs from your imaginative mind....
Sunshine and Warmth your way, my friend...

Just me, Margaret...a friend...

Comment By: Freetom on September 8, 2006 04:14:05 PM Report
this is a beautiful emotional poem India I know of this hurt where someone you love and they love you just leaves without a rhythm or reason excellent penning

hugs kisses

tom





 


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