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Author Name: FreeEyeSeeAll 3 Comments
Date Added: August 15, 2006 14:08:40 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Broken Hearts Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Pandora's Box
Strolling hand in hand down a dusty road
Each carrying the weight of their own load
The old couple struggled for words to say
Sunrays bouncing off golden hair gone gray

“My mind insists on bringing that day back”
States the world weary woman cloaked in black
“Why can’t you just accept what’s done is done?"
Answered the man who was once someone’s son

They stopped and sat upon a fallen oak
She looked into his eyes and her voice broke
“My heart has been shattered and left to bleed”
His hands mindlessly fumbled a weed

Tears of old wounds sat untouched on her cheek
“I don’t know the answer you desperately seek”
Sighed the defeated man with guilt in his voice
“Events sometimes unfold, leaving no choice”

“I feel as if each year I’ve lived was for naught”
“I’ve forgotten every lesson ever taught”
She whispered to he who was her soul mate
“My darling wife please just accept it as fate”

“I look towards the day when this pain will end
Yet day after day I watch the sun descend
My bones are old and they creak with past years
Made more brittle by fate’s hurtful spears”

Visibly withering, his spirit broke
Stricken with anguish by the words she spoke
He had been her strength for forty-four years
He’d comforted and soothed and chased her fears

“I have nothing left of myself to give
With this turmoil I was also forced to live
I have kept my pain hidden deep within
But now I am forced to choke on this sin”

Slowly with aching joints, together they rise
Clouds accumulate in darkening skies
He stripped bare of his uncaring disguise
She wishing she’d never...exposed fate’s lies
Author's Notes:
After reading a biography of Robert Frost, I challenged myself to see if I could write a poem in dialogue...Not the best I've done, but not the worst either. LoL
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeRichard Michael Cronin on August 23, 2006 09:04:30 PM Report
Dialogue is difficult, but also rewarding, you bring it togeather by the end of the story!

I love this one! Bravo!

Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on August 22, 2006 10:55:12 PM Report
Writing in dialogue is tough, and you have mastered it, I feel~!  It is a tedious job to write...And, something this intricate, a bio and a speech pattern is doubly hard....You did a fantastic job, and I think you have it pegged...to CHALLENGE yourself is to grow~!!  Great job, Crystal..

Margaret....
Comment By: FreeN.M.Sodergran on August 15, 2006 05:12:28 PM Report
Nice that the central problem is kept in the dark to us readers.  Open for interpretation :)  You mastered the style excellently imho, keeping the suspense going by juxtaposing the dialogue and the observations.  Well done!  Cheers!  Aeth





 


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