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Author Name: Adminrich53 21 Comments
Date Added: July 06, 2006 21:07:40 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Close the Door

 
Close the door,
Turn the lock.
Hear the mechanism,
Feel it stop.
 
Still strong, secure,
Worn but so well known.
This space served well,
No longer can be home.
 
Feel the heaviness,
There in your eyes.
Your face grows long,
Remembering times gone by.
 
Your baby's little feet,
Still playing in the hall.
Remember her cry,
After her first fall?
 
Still, it strikes you,
How cheery and bright,
The big kitchen always is.
You'd move it if you might.
 
Take the joy,
Leave the sorrow.
The history resides in you.
Happiness will grow, tomorrow!
 
 
 
Author's Notes:
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'Close the Door' Copyright © RichardM
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeShuberth Dias on July 21, 2009 06:04:50 PM Report
i love the background and the text color you choosen, it suits :)
Comment By: FreeShuberth Dias on July 21, 2009 06:03:19 PM Report
its great. :) i love how you wrote the last stanza, its very strong and with full of hope.  

beautiful write

 

Shuberth

Comment By: FreeHanane on July 16, 2009 08:48:59 PM Report
Really Richard you're a rich man, because you've got appropriate words to express yourself. I like your piece, I enjoy reading it.

 

Yours,

Hanane

Comment By: PremiumRaymond Pinsonneault on October 9, 2008 06:12:01 PM Report
a beauty Richard...enjoyed..

Comment By: FreeEmil on June 14, 2007 02:15:34 PM Report
Life moves on but the memories remain to continue enjoying the past.

Nicely done

Emil

Comment By: FreeGoliath Assassin on February 4, 2007 01:12:07 AM Report
Yeah... I can really relate to this, having moved around alot as a kid.  You caught the tension cleverly.
Comment By: FreeChristin Mowery on October 11, 2006 02:06:53 PM Report
Oh so true, Rich. Loved this poem. I have been there before.
~Christin

Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on September 28, 2006 12:34:09 AM Report
The one verse that tripped my tongue was the second last stanza. May I suggest a slight change?
"It strikes you, still,
How cheery and bright,
The big kitchen is,

You'd move it if you might." This keeps the observation in the present tense and improves the flow of the stanza. The kitchen hasn't changed, it is as it always was...the change is her leaving. (I added "big" for an added beat in this line.)

 

History does echo through the rooms of a home, occupied or unoccupied but it is very much inside of us when we leave. Loved the line that stated this.


I haven't heard you recite this poem but I imagine it woud be a wonderful experience. I love the nostalgia here Richard, there is just enough and then a portion of positivity to wrap it all up.

Lovely penning! =))

~Barbara~

 


Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on August 12, 2006 01:37:29 PM Report
Loved it, loved it, loved it.....And, may I compliment you on your voice on the audio...it is AWESOME....Your inflections make the poem alive....I enjoyed the memories....

Just the old bag lady

Comment By: FreeLiquid Poetess on July 27, 2006 03:49:06 PM Report
Memories and fond nostalgia, a lovely mix,



Jo x




Comment By: FreeWilliamGoldenpen on July 18, 2006 06:18:36 PM Report
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow does come.  A realy special write my friend.  Excellent.

 

William.

Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on July 17, 2006 07:30:29 PM Report
Taake the joy and leave the sorrow..That's a great line, Rich..A house does become a living thing, full of memories of children and friends..Lovely job on the audio, pal..Love the feeling to this..Nicely metered.....Yer pal, len
Comment By: FreePelagic Mind on July 15, 2006 10:20:03 AM Report
Hey Rich, here I was focusing on my own narration and you already have some. This is great! I really like to hear it the way the poet meant it to sound... Wonderful!!!!
Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on July 8, 2006 11:36:35 AM Report
aahhhh! Home! Nicely done Rich, Joe
Comment By: FreeJillian K. Alexis on July 7, 2006 08:05:44 PM Report
This is beautiful Rich. What a brilliant message u have penned here. Bravo...Hugz...Jillian
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on July 7, 2006 01:46:55 PM Report
Richard,

 To move on with your life is a very diffult thing to do sometimes.. we just have to close and lock that door..but the memories do remain don't they my dearest friend??How my heart feels yours in this poem....Your life will become better with time...

Hugs love ya! ~ Scarlett

Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on July 7, 2006 10:13:27 AM Report
Holy cow!  I didn't know we had narration!  Rich, that's wonderful!  What a fine reading voice you have!  Do some more!
Comment By: PremiumAnn on July 7, 2006 09:31:21 AM Report
Nicely done Rich. Great flow. This piece evoked just enough sentimentality and hope in its simplicity.


Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on July 7, 2006 09:08:47 AM Report
This is priceless, Rich.  Sage advice.  Letting go of sorrow is not the easiest task, but I appreciate the wisdom of your last line.  Well done.  ML
Comment By: FreeGlata on July 7, 2006 07:48:16 AM Report
The memories that dwell within a home give it its spirit...And at times it seems that the memories are bitter/sweet. To have to move away from a place that's been "home" for so long is one of the most painful moves imaginable. As humans, we are creatures of habit and routine...those routines make the memories that linger in the home long after it's empty. Have you ever entered an abandoned house and felt the spirits of long-ago residents? I have...sometimes it's a good feeling, warm and welcoming...other times it's one of those feelings of...if I don't get out of here I'm going to smother to death! Odd, huh?

Awesome write...left me feeling so melancholy in a way...thinking about having to leave behind a place that once meant so very much...

Hugs!

Glata

Comment By: FreeGraham Jones on July 7, 2006 04:13:53 AM Report
I'm not sure if this is about moving on as in life or moving house but either way I enjoyed it.




 


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