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Author Name: Adminrich53 14 Comments
Date Added: February 24, 2006 17:02:21 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Love Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Final Journey





Leather worn, unlusturous brass,
A rough rider crosses the mountainous pass.
No need a look behind to glimpse a view,
Of the meadow, candle-lit cabin, and that lovely lass.

Through the mist he imagined her distant song.
Considering himself a nusance, he couldn't linger more.
His eyes narrowed, considering her place in the valley.
How the window seemed open, but she barred the door.
 
Waning moon pulled lower by broken clouds,
Barely illuminated the uneven, descending path.
The grey foreground littered by broken rock and shards,
Seemed to him as if scattered in pain by a giant's wrath.

A whispering voice of cold twilight air,
Poured out a low sound, a secret, foreboding and unsought.
Twisted, through crags of fractured dreams and rocks,
Providing comfort for not a single thought.

Dark canyons and features came into far view then,
Visible in the dim only as charcoal stains in the pale snow.
Untamed, unmapped the long journey ahead seemed sure to be,
A meaningless challenge to pass the lonely days below.

Darkness, the willing consort of travel in this place,
Accompanied without reluctance, knowing his fall from grace.
A man of love, valleys, and fertile grass,
The rider made a final journey, over the pass.

Author's Notes:

"Valley 2000" courtesy of Ryan Bliss - www.digitalblasphemy.com

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Comments:
Comment By: FreeDarkness Rides This Night on March 18, 2006 05:36:09 AM Report
The tread of death rund through this. The final journey is one we all make alone. Just us and the road into what comes next. This is a very well penned tale my friend.. !
Comment By: FreeJoe Petro on March 12, 2006 01:46:17 PM Report
I sense a major change in life's path. But reading the comments below, it seems we each have derived our own meaning. I enjoy a write that can do that. Very well done Richard. jp
Comment By: FreeBellaLuna on March 8, 2006 09:07:50 PM Report
I love when things play out in my mind. This is a beautiful piece of work Kind Sir!! Blessed be...
Lune
Comment By: FreeJames Lagoski on March 8, 2006 09:01:29 PM Report
Dear Richard-
Now being an old school dog, I would swear this
was written by someone riding a steel horse
across the endless ribbons of destiny this world offers-
This piece quickly made me think of a couple of
rides I've taken over the Rocky Mountains that I call home-
So whether yer in the saddle or steering a cage,
I am impressed!
Best Wishes to You and Yours~
Peace~
James
Comment By: FreeCindy Bendel on March 6, 2006 09:45:27 PM Report
Richard...I love the way you pulled this off..it is both dark and final it its wording and yet, I sense a sort of hidden meaning within its texture.
So different and new from you usual poems...I love the way you can break from the expected and surprise me with such unique style in each write.
I am so wanting to do the same in my writing, yet find it so very difficult to do.

Excellent write!!! Vivid in details.

~Cindy
Comment By: FreeGraham Jones on March 2, 2006 09:28:15 AM Report
This conjured up strong images, of someone leaving a life behind, and yet without to many regrets, a thoroughly readable and enjoyable poem.
Comment By: FreeH. Louise on March 1, 2006 11:03:42 AM Report
Wow. What a fantastic write!
Such great imagery here!
"Waning moon pulled lower by broken clouds"
Possibly my favourite line. It presents such a strong image in my head.
This has been wonderfully written.
Keep up the good work ^_^
Take Care xx
xHannahx
Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on February 26, 2006 02:33:21 PM Report
There's something sinister in these excellent images. This is very atmospheric. Feelings of profound loneliness rise off the page. Well done, Rich. Very well done. ML.
Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on February 26, 2006 01:15:45 PM Report
You write this and make us feel like we are with him, terrific write Richard, great scheme and flow too, Joe
Comment By: FreeGlata on February 25, 2006 09:46:38 AM Report
There's something about this write that seems so sad...poignant. Someone leaving everything he loved and needed behind as he rides away...never looking back. I agree with the others...wow! This really packed quite a punch.
Feeling the heartache as if it were my own with this write...
hugs...Glata
Comment By: FreeMichael on February 25, 2006 01:05:06 AM Report
At once, evocative of different emotions. Whatever the trauma, I sense that the rider's appreciation of beuty is undiminished. Well done, Michael
Comment By: Freeb doneff on February 24, 2006 08:35:19 PM Report
This packed a whallup Rich, a real punch in the gut that took me to my knees..wow..so full of agony and hurt. Really beautiful in imagery, and raw with emotion. Barbie
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on February 24, 2006 06:35:13 PM Report
The endd of the trail, he partner?..I could see and feel this write all the way through..The sense of loss and finality is so strong

NOW, PLEASE READ MY LAST 400 POEMS WHEN YOU GET THE CHANCE???
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on February 24, 2006 06:00:49 PM Report
RICHARD.... OMG THIS IS A MASTERPIECE TO READ.. I FEEL SO STRANGE READING THIS??...THIS IS SO HEART TUGGING AND MOVING.. ONE OF YOUR VERY BEST!!
READ MY LAST TWO LOVE POEMS WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE?? INTERESTING?? YOUR A BLESSING ON THIS SITE!! HUGS ..MAY YOU FIND YOUR WOMAN FOR LIFE!!! ALWAYS ~ SHE




 


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