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Author Name: FreeHalfro 4 Comments
Date Added: January 09, 2006 23:01:47 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Unspecified
Category: Dedications Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
When You Are Away

I hate it when you leave
It makes me want to grieve
I love when you come home
Off to work you did roam
Before you use to play all day
Now it's only when you pull in the driveway
When you get home I get so happy
Cause when you're away I feel crappy
I miss you when you're gone
Til you get home my life will go on


Author's Notes:
Dedicated to my Dad
You know him as Fletch
Written in the third grade
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'When You Are Away' Copyright © Tyler Fletcher
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeKaren Marrah on May 28, 2006 01:24:00 PM Report
Good write Tyler. Keep up the good work.It's wonderful for me to see a young person such as yourself take up writing poetry. I am sure your dad loved this too. Keep smiling and have a great day.....Karen
Comment By: FreeAngel E. on May 19, 2006 10:09:09 AM Report
It's nice. But it feels a little...young.
It's detached, and though it has pretty good flow and nice rhyming, it doesn't have any STRONG emotions...

~Angel
Comment By: ModeratorJillian K. Alexis on January 10, 2006 07:54:39 PM Report
I love this Tyler. It only proves the love u have for your' Dad. U have a wonderful way of expressing your' feelings. I truly hope u never give up writing, for I see a star waiting to be born...Love, Aunt Jillian
Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on January 9, 2006 11:38:14 PM Report
Tyler, I didn't have my dad around, you are very lucky my man. Always remember this time with him, it's special. Terrific write, welcome to the site, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree in your family, LOL! Joe




 


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