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Author Name: FreeSensual Sorceress 73 Comments
Date Added: February 10, 2007 20:02:57 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Broken Hearts Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
I Pretend

When you left, there was no fanfare of trumpets,
no thunder rolling storms.
It was quiet like the last sigh expelled before death.
I had no idea that my soul had been packed between
your neatly pressed sweaters and slacks. As you
carried your suitcase away, I told myself
that you were going on a vacation and would return.
I continued this charade until I began to believe.
Now Iím so good at it, that I pretend you never left.

Author's Notes:
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Comments:
Comment By: PremiumEric Siedzikowski on October 26, 2009 02:48:35 PM Report
Melted my heart.You exhibited the power of poetry by transcending me to that brevity in which you were there.You are a gifted writer fraught with manque'
Comment By: Freesue on July 29, 2009 04:41:24 AM Report

wow sooooo good :)


Comment By: FreeElla on May 25, 2009 06:04:52 PM Report
I had no idea that my soul had been packed between
your neatly pressed sweaters and slacks

so easy to make that mistake... and then you have to get it back...

great write

Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on April 17, 2009 02:51:12 PM Report
Jolen,
 How in the world did I ever miss this masterpiece??****
 So well I understand the emotions of pretending ...
 Brilliant every line...
 Hugs and LOve India ~ She Whispers

Comment By: FreeErin Nicole on December 24, 2008 02:47:57 PM Report
wow i love this it is BRILIANT i truly appreciate this i would love if you would check out my poems and give me some feedback


Comment By: FreeRobert Smith on December 24, 2008 12:00:34 AM Report
Deep powerful and how the hell did I miss this one - Rob
Comment By: FreeSteve on April 14, 2008 12:12:08 AM Report

This is an excellent poem and became a favorite as soon as I finished reading it.  The words provoke introspection like many of your writes.  It sounds like a person speaking to the reality of the situation.  Clearly an award winner.


Comment By: FreeDarkness Rides This Night on May 10, 2007 03:34:09 AM Report
Well deserving of the award my dear friend. Seperations of the heart after one has shared not just their life but their soul with this other is always hardest to except. To move on from. I think it's worse if death takes the other half. But even a devorse can be like death sometimes. Very well done my friend. Sorry for my eyes abscence.
Comment By: FreeMujtaba H Zaidi on February 11, 2007 11:58:51 AM Report
Respected lady....You are the only poetess over the globe, whose poetry forces me to declare you one of the most superior poets of contemporary age...Each and every line signifies dexterity of wonderful expressions, and command over the splendid diction.....You must deserve the lots of awards dear poetess.....Please accept my heartiest congratulations on writing this poem and winning the award!!!
Comment By: FreeBrokenSoul on January 10, 2007 02:23:56 AM Report
truly sad.....

Comment By: FreeGoliath Assassin on October 9, 2006 05:40:04 PM Report
WoW!  This is a predicament!  How'd that happen? You know, I couldn't even picture you with a guy like that... but then again, opposites attract... I pretend too. I pretend one day she'll see me rockin' out on TV and wish we never split. It's normal to pretend.  You're certainly not alone.
Comment By: FreeJoseph on October 7, 2006 08:57:08 PM Report
So much meaning in those words, we all had experiences of loss.

U even move God with those lines

Comment By: PremiumBruce A. Peaslee on September 7, 2006 06:29:07 AM Report

Jody- Interesting work, sometimes denial might be a good defense against the pain of loss.


 


---Poetrydad---


Comment By: FreeS on September 6, 2006 06:22:05 PM Report

u have a lot of awards, all well deserved including this one


Comment By: FreePia Andersson on July 14, 2006 08:19:54 PM Report
you express it so well ; the moment before , before it all happened
Grief and loss is difficult to write about -when i read your poem i find it difficult to breath Excellent work!-Pia

Comment By: FreeStephii R. on July 2, 2006 03:32:06 PM Report
wow.. amazing.. short and powerful!

~Stephii

Comment By: FreeThe Mystic Poet on June 29, 2006 11:39:53 AM Report
You're a fine piece of work.......err no sorry I meant this poem is. Lol I enjoy reading your stuff, always a pleasure.
Comment By: FreeWith pain comes strength on June 9, 2006 08:32:31 AM Report
Congrats on a well deserved award, a great write!

Nik

Comment By: FreeGlata on June 8, 2006 08:41:21 AM Report
Awesome! congrats, me deer! I mean, My Dear...danged drunk fingers!

Deserving of this award, indeed....

Hugs!

Glata

Comment By: FreeMary on June 7, 2006 10:05:06 PM Report
holy moly i loved this1
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on June 6, 2006 01:41:22 AM Report
This movie sux and I'm sorry I paid the nine bucks to see it....Sorry, Aces...I was thinking of the DaVinci Code...This is lovel;y and pathetically sad..:O)...Yereverlovin
Comment By: Freeaaron payne on June 5, 2006 05:43:16 PM Report
very good. disconnected & sad. aaron
Comment By: FreeHeike on June 5, 2006 01:56:42 PM Report

Painfully funny, wryly tragic.
Jody, this is as fine as a broken heart poem can get. Congrats on your award :-)!
~Heike


Comment By: on June 5, 2006 12:55:19 PM Report
Wow! I am moved by this poem - you have an amazing gift for succinct expression. I am astounded!

 

~ Alia

Comment By: FreeRoger Bacon on June 5, 2006 11:16:20 AM Report
This is so deserving of an award.  An exceptional write.
Comment By: FreeMoon Fairy on June 5, 2006 06:52:54 AM Report
Jody~
Congratulations on your award for a fine yet saddly written write~
The read pulls you in, thats for sure!!
Tracie~

Comment By: FreeAnna Aliena on June 5, 2006 04:58:16 AM Report
beautifully expressed! congratulations on the award!
Comment By: FreeCindy Bendel on June 4, 2006 11:37:32 PM Report
Congrats Jody on the award for this wonderful write!

 

~Cindy

Comment By: TrialAnn on June 4, 2006 09:58:07 PM Report
Congrats sister! Another great poem gets what it deserves.
Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on June 4, 2006 07:57:56 PM Report
I commented below, now I have to say congrats on the award Jody, Joe
Comment By: FreeSharon Jorcil James on June 4, 2006 07:54:52 PM Report
I knew this was a fantastic write!! Congrats on your award.

 

Sharon JJ

Comment By: FreeLady Dragonwyck on June 4, 2006 07:18:44 PM Report
Jody: great write -- loved the ending.  Very deserving of the Feature Poem Award.

 

 

 

Lady D

Comment By: FreeMary on March 18, 2006 05:26:51 PM Report
damn this is off the hook i like the last 3 lines i could feel your pain but i could see this was an awesome poem youve expressed your feelings very well
loves it....
Comment By: PremiumKeith Overstreet on March 13, 2006 10:22:33 PM Report
Man, heartbreaking. It is in times as these when poets are born, sometimes of the saddest kind. I hope by your great gift you wrote this and never had to live it. truly a gifted piece.
Keith
Comment By: FreePaul Peter McLean on February 13, 2006 03:03:55 PM Report
Good work Jody. I see I join a long line of admirers.
Comment By: FreeJoe Petro on January 25, 2006 12:49:40 PM Report
Very vulnerable write, so quietly said. Sadness creates the most beautiful poems. jp
Comment By: FreeMichael on January 25, 2006 12:57:15 AM Report
Now, this one I really like, Lady Jolen. YLM
Comment By: FreeStephen Owen AKA Passion Hawk on January 11, 2006 12:35:15 PM Report
very sad but so true to life, loved this piece Jody, steve
Comment By: FreeBOB on January 6, 2006 01:53:26 PM Report
As ever Jody, you have bewitched us all.
When someone goes away they allways take a
piece of us with them. A lovely and sad write,
Bob:)
Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on December 30, 2005 12:15:33 PM Report
I understand the pain in this. I took time in returning his clothes from my wardrobe. While they hung there a part of me said he was still coming home. I feel the pain in this.
Ali x
Comment By: on December 15, 2005 10:36:38 AM Report
THATS H-O DOUBLE T HOTT
*kRYSTAL*
Comment By: Freeobohwemu o. kennedy on December 14, 2005 09:32:21 AM Report
HOW SAD!GREAT WRITE!!
Comment By: FreeSandy J Hradil on December 14, 2005 12:03:18 AM Report
This is sad. I love this poem because I can relate to every word. When you love to much to let them go but you know the love is not meant to stay so you reconcile within yourself to mend a broken heart.
EXCELLENT!!!!
Comment By: FreeDamon D. Brewer on December 13, 2005 01:14:54 PM Report
I love this write of yours. I must come back soon and read more of yours, but for now I have to go. This really is a great write.
Damon
Comment By: PremiumBlake Hightdudis on December 7, 2005 02:53:03 PM Report
This is a very beautiful, and heartbreaking, excellent.
Comment By: FreeTodd on December 5, 2005 10:45:35 PM Report
Jody, This truly is a masterful piece of work. It is heartfelt and real, reaching out and grasping the emotions of the reader. Not to add to the scores of all your compliments but this one deserves recognition. Well done Ms. Smut ****1/2.
Comment By: Freelittleditty on December 4, 2005 07:43:20 PM Report
Each time i read one of yours that is more free verse I know i must work harder to get beyond my dislike for rhyming metered poems, because you get me, you get me? This is one that speaks to me - and this, i reckon, one of your best working rhyme lines:
I had no idea that my soul had been packed between
your neatly pressed sweaters and slacks.

What a cool line and a fine economical write - oh yes - Brava J! xxx
Comment By: FreeSharon Jorcil James on December 2, 2005 08:40:10 AM Report
So beautiful yet so sad. An exceptional write as always my friend.

Sharon JJ
Comment By: Freejoia on December 1, 2005 10:48:31 AM Report
Girlfriend, you talk about me taking your eyes and rolling them on sandpaper, you done it here. This will take three boxes of Kleenex..how the heart aches for this woman. Sad with a capital, your writing continues to amaze me with each one. You are a rose..joia
Comment By: FreeRoger Bacon on December 1, 2005 10:28:19 AM Report
I read this as a love lost but you have blended in images of death also. I think initially the two emotions are very similar.
Comment By: FreeCraig David Dawson on December 1, 2005 10:23:18 AM Report
Sad..and reflective...this is beautifully written. *sniff*
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on November 30, 2005 09:24:51 PM Report
Sailing dowwn DeNile, without a paddle...You nailed the feeling here, Aces..Such a sad, but beautiful poem...Yereverlovinfurball
Comment By: FreeJennifer on November 30, 2005 07:31:26 PM Report
hello there missy! This is heartbreaking. I feel for you and really feel this poem. I apprieciate a write that can bring tears to my eyes!
This is wonderfuly written!
Jen
Comment By: FreeGlata on November 30, 2005 10:42:38 AM Report
I think we've all been there, hon...This is great...Hope that you manage to dig your soul out from his stuff soon and can share it with someone more worthy...
Love you! Miss ya...
Glata
Comment By: Freenanette on November 30, 2005 10:32:20 AM Report
This is so true..... I love this "packed between your neatly pressed sweaters and slacks"...
Great write, thank you for sharing it with us all....
Take care, my friend
~Nanette
Comment By: FreeSavanahB on November 29, 2005 09:30:57 PM Report
Girl, don't you get suspicious when he always puts the seat back down? That's a dead give away.....

Really, Evilene, this will make a body a little misty eyed reading it..self deception is the worst lie of all and possibly the mose destructive...great post - Jude
Comment By: Freeivy on November 29, 2005 09:30:22 PM Report
Hey!!
This is awesome..you did an excellent job
congrats..
ivy
Comment By: FreeFLETCHER on November 29, 2005 06:02:22 PM Report
Very Heartfelt Jody!
Excellent write!
Your Friend ....Fletch
Comment By: FreeThe Bag Lady on November 28, 2005 10:24:38 PM Report
After pain, always comes the indifference of sorts, I believe.....Just like it was a passing thing that floated by one part of a lifetime...Good write, Jody~!....
Margaret...
Comment By: FreeEdward Kent on November 28, 2005 08:45:25 PM Report
beautiful as its sad ,, you are growing more and more with each write,,hugs to you from me...
Comment By: FreeDeafening Whisper on November 28, 2005 08:37:01 PM Report
Ah yes, don't we all. Very nice piece of work.
Nice dog.

Whisper.
Comment By: TrialAnn on November 28, 2005 02:43:02 PM Report
Beautiful sad write Jody.
Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on November 28, 2005 11:11:18 AM Report
Very good, Jody. The feelings here are so well expressed you have some of us crying for you. Not an easy feat. Well done. ML ps You aren't really, are you?
Comment By: FreeWilliamGoldenpen on November 28, 2005 09:08:54 AM Report
This is such a sad write Lady. The pain that you have expressed is a living pain that never really goes away. We just learn to deal with it as you have in this write. Well penned.

William.
Comment By: ModeratorHenry M. on November 28, 2005 08:20:24 AM Report
This one hits right in the heart Jody... The sadness of losing love is always with us and we all deal with it in our own way. Great poem Jody. Henry
Comment By: FreeRyan on November 28, 2005 07:22:42 AM Report
A sad write, but at the same time beautiful, a very moving piece great work

~Ryan~
Comment By: FreePamela A. Lamppa on November 28, 2005 05:51:38 AM Report
This brought me to tears friend of mine.
Pain of love lost is sometimes easier to take, when we pretend it isn't there.
Where the times will take us then, is yet another story.
Beautifully penned human emotion. Moving and stirring and visual. ~Pam
Comment By: FreeMoon Fairy on November 28, 2005 04:11:17 AM Report
Ms.S~
Truly a sad write but real in all there is in life..it happens so often.I am so sorry for your sadness and in time things will be alright.Your heart cries with every word,which can be felt.Stay strong!
Hugs~
Tracie~
Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on November 27, 2005 11:31:07 PM Report
Fantasy and reality, for some is is a very fine line. This is sad, but so nicely written Sorceress, Joe
Comment By: Freetom on November 27, 2005 10:34:29 PM Report
Jody such a sad poem but we all pretent sometime in our lives trying not to show the pain and hurt when someone just leaves beautiful penning
hugs kisses
tom
Comment By: FreeGay Johnson on November 27, 2005 09:52:41 PM Report
Crap, that is so sad, but very good. I love that he has your heart packed between his sweaters and slacks. See, You can write about anything and make it believable.
Love ya, Nutty Stitches
Comment By: Freeb doneff on November 27, 2005 09:41:38 PM Report
I am ashamed to admit, that I am among the ones who have done this. This was so raw, I am bleeding, and tears come from a place so far away, I didnt think it existed anymore. Stunned me ...just stunned me. Barbie
Comment By: FreeCindy Bendel on November 27, 2005 09:33:21 PM Report
OMG Jody, this is awesome ( hate to use that word) but i am undone by the fragility of emotion you express in this one. Can't help it, another one of my faves! Simply exquisite.

~Always Cindy




 


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