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Author Name: Adminrich53 10 Comments
Date Added: April 03, 2007 21:04:43 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Type: Short Story
Category: Short Stories Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
Reverie
 
 

Image courtesy of Ryan Bliss - www.digitalblasphemy.com

Here outside, it had been a blustry, brilliant day of spring.
 
The oblique sunset constrained the polarization of the sun's rays, starkly illuminating the angular structure of a distant living complex against the rolling hills and landscape beyond.

Casting eyes to the foreground, it seemed clear that only today, new growth had swept away all the last remanants of the lingering, cold campaign of winter.

Perhaps it was the realization that he had time to notice the swift progress of growing grass that deeply disturbed and angered the spirit within him. Or, more likely, it was his reaction to the subliminal flickering of fire projecting through the distant clouds, now boiling with deep gold, red, and green.
 
Both were products of the dynamic meterology of this, the third planet, with it's recently terraformed valleys briming with foilage, carefully filtered microparticulate aersols, recovering atmosphere, and the resulting, pecular slender tendrils of forward-scattered light that seemed to resonate within his head.
 
 
Those sharply focused and shimmering beams of light were orders of magnetude less intense than even the weakest of energies permanently seared within the reaches of his memory. Even so, the shimmer of evening rays were sufficiently powerful to take control of his mind, transporting him momentarily from this recovering capital to the distant drop zones and killing fields of his past.
                     
 
Suddenly, he felt the familiar tingle of a neurohelmet and the changing gait of his trusted Shadowcat as he executed a final, high-G turn, now closing on his primary target at 80 kph, barreling across the terrain in perfect synchrony with his wingmates. Those familiar sensations of anticipation and trust in man and machine were like nothing else.
 
 
The hot, searing sensation of battle soon swept over him as his mech's fusion reactor pulsed and stuggled to maintain it's full output. Using his mental energy and augmented HUD vision to keep large lasers on the rapidly moving target was the challenge as he evaded incoming missile rounds and responded. Soon, his flickering green beams erupted in red and gold flames as the last of his opponent's armor glowed, vaporized, and suddenly gave way. Penetrated, the crippled mech was engulfed by the sudden, brilliant flash of it's breached reactor - something from which none survived.
 
As his senses adjusted, the calming chatter from his nearby commrades danced in his ears over the loud sounds of his cooling battlemech. Battle hardened and weary, the men, his men, were nonetheless quick to respond to the changing battlefield situation, establishing a perimeter, logging system checks, damage, scrap, and battle details to their remote support teams.
      
This day, there had been no losses. Listening to the ensuing battle reports, his mind automatically sifted through the audio as he recognized the familiar voices. Without thinking, images and histories of each formed instantly in his mind.
          
Each with their own place in time. Kelida, Red Rosse, Tick, Nate Nostra, SLI, MAD, Diemos Bavros, Kai, Yoosty, Beefnog, Hopster, Xman Leroux, Digit, Krusher, Miner McEvedy, Musashi, Rudacat, Hybrid, Temujen, Deflater, Manic, OU812, Gryphon, Shark, and of course, MadMax. So many challenges, so many battles, always with great risk and cost. All had left their mark on both him and the proud history of their clan. So many now fallen, as masters of their fates, heroes on the field of battle, and forever larger than the simple game so many were content to percieve.

Sadness decended and tempered the momentary intensity of battle, the machines, the technology, committment to objective, and the sprit of the adventure that he knew had been shared by those known to Ler Devalis, Khan of Clan Nova Cat, as he was once known.

Just as strong as the alloys and as brilliant as lasers, were the memories of the heroic deeds of his clan mates. Forever his family, his friends. Together they had written their own history and forever would he be proud to have served among them.
 
 
With that thought, the reverie suddenly passed. Seemingly lasting only in a flicker of time in duration, the final rays of sun were now almost entirely quenched and absorbed by the planet's burdensome atmosphere. In their absense, the flickering discharge of lightning would still be visible for a while. Then the stars would come.

With a heavy sigh, the warrior's anger gave rise to resolution, and one final challenge. This time to himself. Only in fantasy are dreams unrealized.

In this, the final chapter of his life, he saw clearly what remained to be done.
 
 
Author's Notes:
Written in memory of action with the Fallen Angels, the best damn gaming clan in the known universe.
 
Thanks for the suggestions!
 
Image courtesy of Ryan Bliss - www.digitalblasphemy.com
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeJillian K. Alexis on April 30, 2010 12:33:50 AM Report
I really enjoyed this write Rich.  It held my interest, and the imagery you used drew me into the story.  Great job my friend...Hugz...Jillian
Comment By: FreeMujtaba H Zaidi on August 25, 2009 04:33:19 AM Report
Very impressive, thought-provoking and straight-forward right dear sir, which leaves long lasting impact on the readers!!!!
Comment By: PremiumRaymond Pinsonneault on September 30, 2008 01:12:22 PM Report
Yow, Richard, just finished reading this one, super great write, so much imagery, intrigue, colors etc...

Composition  wording, arrangements, so much all mixed in, a difficult but enjoyable read...I'm sure you could condense to enhance some of the beauties you came up with in this.

Comment By: FreeLink on April 29, 2008 08:16:24 AM Report
My name's Reverie, so I had to read this one. I'm glad I did. Great write!
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on April 26, 2008 08:04:09 PM Report
I'm pleased to read a story from you, Rich...Nicely written, with lots of visuals..This seems to be an opening to a novella, at least..LOve the correct puntuation..It grates on me when that isn't done right, now that Mary Lou educated me...

 

One thing..." the rapidly change of" must be a typo..yer pal, len 

Comment By: FreeThe Mystic Poet on May 18, 2007 12:42:07 AM Report
Good story. fave line "Only in fantasy are dreams unrealized"
Comment By: FreeRin Marie on April 30, 2007 08:23:30 AM Report
You are a very talented writer, very good indeed. 

 

Love, Rin

Comment By: FreeGlata on April 13, 2007 08:25:18 AM Report
A fantastic story line, Rich! You  could write a novel with this as the prelude! Awesome job, and it's GREAT to see this on your page....I'm glad I dropped by to visit!

Hugs to ya...

Glata

Comment By: FreeBarbara Demasson on April 9, 2007 12:41:07 AM Report
"Although unfocused and orders of magnetude less intense than the weakest of energies from laser weapons, the waves of light were still powerful enough to take control of his unforgetting mind, transporting him to the battle zones and killing fields of his long career."

 

 I think this sentence is too long and there is too much happening within it. Maybe a little restructuring would give each idea it's own place rather than having the information clumping up.

 

Consider this: "The unfocused waves of light had orders of magnitude less intense than the weakest laser weapons yet were powerful enough to take control of his unforgetting mind. He was transported back to the battle zones and killing fields of his long career." (notice magnetude = magnitude)

 

"Or perhaps more likely, it was the rapidly change of nearby clouds, luminated and on fire with deep gold, red and green colors induced by the dynamics of paticulate matter and slivers of light in the atmosphere of the third planet." This is wordy Rich, you need to condense a bit more. Once again, there is too much packed into this sentence. To appreciate the scene, you need to expand more. Break up the thoughts, you have a wealth of information and visual stimulation within this one line but it is sensory overload. Make a couple of strong sentences out of this one and each one will be appreciated more. Again, the focus of attention is unclear to the reader when there is too much information run together.

 

"The flickering green beam of light erupted in red and gold of flames emitted as his target met it's destruction were plainly in view," ...this sentence clearly needs to be reworked, the thoughts are disconnected. There is much more to this sentence too and already it has said plenty. Consider this: "The flickering green beam of light suddenly erupted. Red and gold flames were emitted as his target met its destruction. Although plainly in view, his visor and head up display reduced the (explosion) to a comfortable visibility." (notice it's = its)

 

"Only in fantasy are dreams unrealized."...okay, I love this line all by itself just for the wonderful message it gives! *smiles*

 

Okay, I think I've niggled enough. Just watch the length of your sentences. This is mighty Impressive work...you held my intrest all the way through. I love how you left he ending open. I'm not familiar with this gaming clan but I see there is much intensity involved in the game, I feel your passion for the game in this story. I'm thrilled to have found a story on your page, I didn't know you wrote stories. Awesome! =))

 

~Barbara~ *shifting words around to strengthen this great story*

 

 

 

 

Comment By: PremiumAnn on April 3, 2007 10:34:42 PM Report
It's nice to see a story find its way to your fingertips. Well done!






 


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