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Author Name: FreeSensual Sorceress 50 Comments
Date Added: February 09, 2007 21:02:06 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Quiet Electric
Quiet Electric

Depths of mist rise as newly heated steam
Awash in a hazy ripened full moon beam
Static electricity dances a quiet ballet
As darkness emerges from light of day


Heat filled moisture rains silently down
Glides over skin as satin evening gown
Shimmering luminance encircles flame
Raging disquiet flees to whence it came


Silent waters drawn to rushing wave
Instills inner calm of which I crave
Flashes strike intensely in distant sky
Gives dawn to knowing the reason why
Author's Notes:
An evening of electric storms
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Comments:
Comment By: FreeSteve on July 24, 2008 05:08:55 PM Report
Congratulations on your award Jolen.  I really like the title and enjoyed another one of your well grafted and original writes. 
Comment By: FreeRobin Constantinou on August 22, 2007 05:53:52 PM Report
i love storms, such an electrifying piece of artistic beauty, greatly eccentric, beautiful write jolen, congrats on the blue ribbon/award
~Robin

Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on February 10, 2007 08:22:38 PM Report
I'm so sick of the same people winning the Blue Ribbon, over and over again..:O)...Wait a minute!!..We have hubcaps, now...Well, I used to be sick of the same people winning the Blue Ribbon over and over again...I gotta take that back...I was winning Blue Ribbons over and over again back then. I wasn't sick of that at all..Hee hee..yereverlovin
Comment By: FreeJames Thomas Whitworth on January 7, 2007 10:07:49 PM Report
Gives dawn to knowing the reason why

If this is not a show-stopping ending, then I do not know what is. The twisted use of 'dawn' after the opening of darkness emerging from light of day is inspired. Your  use of language and your natural ability for poetic trickery have impressed me ever since we met, all thos centuries ago.

Love
James

Comment By: FreeGoliath Assassin on October 9, 2006 05:27:50 PM Report
Lines 5, 6, and 12 all caught me well and off-guard.  I tried to pick a certain section, but it's so short, and the srengths are sprinkled throughout. (Kind of like an electric storm, eh?) You just generally have stunning word choice. I love watching the lightning, and I loved reading this.
Comment By: Freeoppodeldoc on April 19, 2006 01:04:05 AM Report
I wish all electric storms were that awesome =P

Great write, another beautiful description of nature. And we know i like that!
Comment By: FreeMichael on January 30, 2006 01:14:26 AM Report
Interesting and entertaining, Lady Jolen. A most effective turnabout in" darkness emerges from the light of day". YLM.
Comment By: FreeDamon D. Brewer on December 26, 2005 11:46:35 PM Report
Very well written indeed; I love it.
Damon
Comment By: FreeWilliamGoldenpen on November 28, 2005 09:58:17 AM Report
49 Comments, what is left to say?? I witnessed many electrical storms when I was in the Far East and the magnificence of them has stayed with me. I really enjoyed this write as it took me back in time. Congrats too on a well deserved award, although belated.

William.
Comment By: FreeJ on August 1, 2005 12:15:45 AM Report
Your use of adjectives is incredible. The description of the storm is beautiful. Everything about this poem is powerful.
Comment By: Freejoey on July 15, 2005 06:29:36 PM Report
you use words so beautifully and bring so much
power out of your poems
you earned your awards but I think you should have
so many more
Comment By: FreeGreg on July 11, 2005 08:34:23 PM Report
I like this, you used rhyme well (which is a rarity in my eyes.) Great language.
Comment By: FreeCathy on July 5, 2005 05:52:26 PM Report
Well as usual perfect. I hate electric storms or any storm but you have made it seem so beautiful with the wonderful use of your amazing words. Now back to reality I'm scared!!!!!!!!! as I shiver in fear!!!!!!!!1
perfect to perfection AGAIN

Cathy
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on May 11, 2005 06:15:58 PM Report
LOVELY LADY, THIS IS POEM IS A MASTERPIECE...IT BREATHS WITH WONDER AND EXCITEMENT OF THE ELECTIC STORM NOTHING MORE BEAUTIFUL... ***** ~SHE
Comment By: AdminRichardM on April 25, 2005 08:55:57 PM Report
The writing has the same power as the storm. Really clever and shows how much you know about them and the impact they have on you. I reaallly like this one!
Comment By: FreeIngwa on March 25, 2005 06:49:35 PM Report
Very descriptive and emotional. Excellent writing here, for sure.
Comment By: ModeratorHenry M. on March 24, 2005 01:30:16 PM Report
Very deep write here Jody, it shows emotions that came out of you and you tied it in with the storm. Excellent. Henry
Comment By: FreeAndy on February 12, 2005 07:18:22 AM Report
What a lovely poem! Well deserving of your blue ribbon! Way to go!
Comment By: FreeJessica Dawn on February 7, 2005 07:48:27 PM Report
Wow.. thats all I can say.. wow.. Its amazing!

Jessums
Comment By: FreeChuck on November 24, 2004 06:55:08 PM Report
Did you know you are the best?... because you are.... congratulation again.
Comment By: FreeBOB on November 11, 2004 12:30:12 PM Report
As I said before, beautiful poetry SS
Congratulations on your Blue, well done,Bob :)

Comment By: FreeWilliam on November 10, 2004 11:31:06 AM Report
I love this poem! Especially these 2 lines:

Silent waters drawn to rushing wave
Instills inner calm of which I crave

You are beautiful!

Bil
Comment By: FreeSusan Messmer on November 9, 2004 02:51:49 PM Report
Yaaaaaaay! I loved this the first time I read it. This is so deserving Jody. Congratulations on the blue.
Susan
Comment By: FreeWith pain comes strength on November 9, 2004 02:18:21 PM Report
A brilliant write!
Well done on the award
Nik
Comment By: FreeSuzanne on November 9, 2004 08:04:13 AM Report
This is great, Congrats on your blue ribbon :-)
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on November 9, 2004 02:03:21 AM Report
MY God!!! I've been so busy answering comments and PM's I missed this,entirely...HEY!!! Do we rock or WHAT???
Congratulations,Aces..Blue ribbons look great on ya,darlin'''LOve you,foever...Velvet Furball
Comment By: FreeCynthia Jones on November 8, 2004 08:13:48 PM Report
Jody, what a wonderful write my dear friend. Congrats on your ribbon. *S* Cynthia
Comment By: FreeHeike on November 8, 2004 05:03:37 PM Report
A true gem, this should be set to music. A quiet, yet disturbing kind of music with a harmonic ending. Congrats on the Blue Ribbon :-)!
~Heike
Comment By: FreeSweetSunshine on November 8, 2004 07:37:33 AM Report
Yippeee!! You are AWESOME! Congrats on the blue, my friend!! :)

big hugz,
kate
Comment By: FreeRichard Johnson on November 8, 2004 05:10:02 AM Report
Congratulations on winning the blue ribbon Jody, it was well deserving.
Thunder Wolf
Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on November 8, 2004 04:35:55 AM Report
yiiiiiiipppppppppeeeeeeeeee Another blue ribbon! Well I saw it coming...not the storm...YOUR BLUE ROBBON!!! Great work!
Comment By: Freejoia on November 8, 2004 03:56:47 AM Report
You took brilliant images, painted them in vivid colors, and gave them the pulse of a heartbeat's rhythm. You turned this poem every way but loose. Caught it with a well deserved ribbon, and now I shall put it to sleep in my favorites. joia...proud of your talent
Comment By: FreeGay Johnson on November 7, 2004 10:22:09 PM Report
YES!!!!!!!! *pummping fist high into the air* I knew this was one of your best ones. Keep writing my sister, Your tallent is extrodinare.
Gay
Comment By: FreeDarkness Rides This Night on November 7, 2004 10:03:07 AM Report
"Cold hearted orb that rules the night. removes the colors from our sight. red is gray and yellow white. but we decide which is right. and which is an illusion..!"~Moody Blues~ I don't know why this just popped into my head as I read this...! I felt the quietness wrap around me like a blanket of lightning bolts..! You were right I did love this one..!
Comment By: PremiumJoe McNinney on November 5, 2004 02:40:40 AM Report
great flow and an incredible write.the first verse reminds me of the aurora borialis.joe
Comment By: FreeBOB on November 4, 2004 08:31:34 PM Report
A beautiful peace of poetry, can almost feel the tingle in the air, I enjoyed every line, Bob :)
Comment By: FreeSusan Messmer on November 3, 2004 12:30:22 PM Report
Bravo Jody! It flows with such beauty and grace...your descriptions so clear and beautiful....really, really, wonderful. I do so enjoy your writing and I thank you for sharing the gifts of your talent. Move on dear lady....higher, deeper. :)
Susan
Comment By: FreeCorina on November 3, 2004 02:12:04 AM Report
Oh, how did I miss that... You have created such imagery, so powerful and yes, electric! I must say, you are very talented!
Comment By: FreeAlison Storm Wolf on November 1, 2004 02:23:53 PM Report
If I was to highlight the lines in this poem which are exquisite...I would have to quote the whole poem!
Your description of the wonderous changes in the natural world which take place before an electric storm leave me speechless!

Heat filled moisture rains silently down
Glides over skin as satin evening gown
How terribly, wonderfully beautiful and so full of pregnant expectation of the contrast between the almost "otherwordly" calm before the heavens open and once again we are reminded just how helpless we are in the face of nature unleashed! Another for my favs without a doubt!
In mutual love and awe of "storm power!"
Alison SW sister
Comment By: FreeCraig David Dawson on November 1, 2004 12:17:06 PM Report
Brilliant!..Evocative descriptions painting vivid pictures. Soul-food for the mind.
Comment By: FreeKaren Redd on November 1, 2004 08:48:45 AM Report
Wow!! Absolutely beautiful!! Watching storms is one of life's greatest treasures to me and you desribed it perfectly!! Karen
Comment By: FreeTimespell on October 31, 2004 12:19:21 PM Report
Jody~

You've Captured more than a storm!!!
Gave me the thought of "Sacred stones"
And a tribal gathering!!!!
Maybe im looking to deep..into the mist.
Ever way I loved it.
:O)
~Timespell~


Comment By: FreeLubaina on October 31, 2004 11:00:58 AM Report
What a gift you have with words. very well done..
Lubs
Comment By: FreeAndy on October 31, 2004 08:04:34 AM Report
Jody, truly nice piece of work here! Enjoy that full moon!
Comment By: FreePaul Walsh on October 31, 2004 06:42:57 AM Report
Deep but then I knew that. This so filled with meaning Jody. And that ending is just ............ it's got me thinking again. Love that in ya, musing away and a thoughts are swirling around in me oul head, I think I'm going to write a poem LOL ..............
Walshy
Comment By: FreeGay Johnson on October 31, 2004 01:03:59 AM Report
She's deeper than you think len..... There Jody, I put him in his place. hope he stays there.LOL
Comment By: FreeLeonard Wilson on October 30, 2004 11:57:06 PM Report
"You are very deep woman. I love that in you."

Gay

How does she know??????:O)

"As darkness emerges from light of day" Only a creature of the night,like a WITCH!!! would think of the darkness,emerging from the light.:O)

A very mysterious ending to this lovely piece, Aces...You ARE deep...Furball

Comment By: FreeGay Johnson on October 30, 2004 11:40:59 PM Report
I havent changed my mind, you still rock. Your ability to transform your writing is phenominal. I love that you can switch "hats" so to speak at any given moment. You are very deep woman. I love that in you.
Gay
Comment By: FreeApril on October 30, 2004 11:19:04 PM Report
I agree, very good indeed.
April
Comment By: FreeGay Johnson on October 30, 2004 11:11:52 PM Report
YOU ROCK!!!!!!! anyone who challenges your ability to write about only one subject is BLIND. This is so awesome.
Gentle Dove




 


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